The title of the dilemma is, am I the asshole for not leaving my mom alone with my daughter?

I have a five-year-old daughter with my husband.

I am the pastiest white possible.

Third-gen Irish and so light, I basically glow in the dark.

My husband is African American.

Our daughter has taken after him both in skin color and hair type.

And this has been a huge learning curve for me since my hair has always been straight as a ruler.

My mom is an ex-haired.

Semi-retired due to some sort of syndrome.

I don't want to say the name.

Because I don't know how to pronounce it.

She has no experience with African-American hair and no desire to learn.

I have tried.

Up until six months ago, she regularly babysat for us when we needed a break and we never had any issues.

Then the day before my daughter was supposed to start school,

my mom was going to look after her for a couple of hours whilst we went on a date.

We were called halfway through dinner by my mum freaking out and my daughter crying hysterically.

My mum had tried to straighten her hair so she would fit in at school the next day. But while struggling to pull a comb through my daughter's hair,

she had burnt her scalp twice with the iron and had to have the iron on such a high setting

that she melted a section of her hair.

Oh my God.

How do you melt natural hair?

...