We have a lot on the agenda today. Shall we dive in? I think we shall.

Ass itching hands. I once had somebody come into my office very, very upset because at lunch, they were in the salad bar line. And the person in front of

them, using the tongs, took his hand, stuck it down the back of his pants to itch his ass,

and then proceeded to put his salad together. And this person is watching this in absolute

horror, absolute horror. And then proceeds to come to my office to freaking tell me about it. Like, what can I do about someone's ass-itching hand, right? I mean, come on. I mean, that is HR. What did you do about someone's ass-itching hand, Lee? I said, what the fuck you want me to about about someone's ass itching hand, like 20 minutes in the future? I mean, did you continue to eat the salad? Yeah, ass itching hands in the workplace. Have you ever experienced an ass itching hand in the workplace? Well, you guys know from season one, I had someone who I had to tell to wash their ass. Exactly. Their nooks andies. But I would think, like, the person who complained probably immediately lost their appetite. Like, I couldn't. Let's play this out. How's this going to go? So let's say that the person had told you Lee. And then you go to this individual in either two things. One, they're going to deny it and be like, I didn't niche my ass. Or, and then

then what? Get the security camera footage because that's exactly, that's going to be the next step. Let's pull the footage. And so all of a sudden, it is Encyclopedia Brown. Let me smell your hand. What I've learned work in an HR and how I did handle that situation is that, no kidding, 90% of the time. People just want someone to talk to, right? They just want someone to listen. So it's like me just there like, oh, okay, so then what happened? He stuck his hand down the back of his pants. He itched his ass. He dug in deep. Okay, great, thanks for that visual. And he pulled it out. And then he grabbed the tongs for the spinach. So you decided to have

romaine. Okay, got it. Thank you so much for that beautiful visual.

Manager catches employee pantsless on video. Oh, my God. Lee, is this you?

No, I wasn't pantless that day. Not that day.

At work.

You were, but you were not caught on camera.

No, I wasn't caught.

That's it.

I wasn't caught.

Exactly.

I'm more clever for them than that.

So the manager got a motion-detected notification around 2 a.m. and started reviewing footage because

there was no sign of like a break-in or anything that had happened. So as reviewing, he sees

one of his female, who's a lead, pantsless, walking around at 2 a.m. Come to find out. When he starts having a conversation

asking why she was at work at 2 a.m. Pantless, she had been out drinking that night before at the

bar. And she was pretty wasted and unfortunately made a terrible decision to get in her car. And on her way home,

she hit a deer and totaled her car. In that moment, she decided that work was close enough

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