How Would You Market the Xenomorphs to Regular People?

Plumbing the Death Star

Sanspants Radio

Tv & Film, Comedy

4.8 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 17 September 2023

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you have a delinquent son? Your child playing up and you don’t know what to do? Or maybe you just want your kid to have the best possible start on the journey that is life? Well do we have a solution for you! With this here fachugger we can cocoon your boy and like a beautiful moth emerging after going through a not-at-all-terrifying metamorphosis, your child will emerge like they were a brand guy! With drive! Ambition! A little guy on their tongue! Spooky as all hell! But if that’s not your speed and you’re on of those freaks that’s an exotic pet enthusiast we have this little fella here that swims real good we think. Plus we’ll even throw in the acid proof glass you’ll need for your aquarium and or terrarium. Why do you need that? Don’t worry about it, perhaps that isn’t for you and maybe you’ll be interested in becoming an investor in our brand new patented technology of acid mining! Where we safely put these Alien creatures in a pit and use all those bullets we have too much of to safely put down layers and layers of acid. It’ll melt away all that dirt and rock and leave only the precious dirt and rock we want we reckon. Get in now while the gettin’s good! Xenomorphs: it’s for everyone!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	If you've ever wondered what this podcast looks like filmed, do we have some great news for you?
0:05.6	Starting from now, we're going to be uploading our new releases to YouTube roughly 24 hours after the audio release.
0:12.6	Why? Because a young enhancer man who works in marketing from an advertiser told us to.
0:17.8	But that's not all. I've also taken some choice moments from the episodes,
0:22.0	and we're going to be posting that on TikTok, Instagram, Reels, and YouTube shorts once I figure out how to do that.
0:28.0	Why? Because once again, that handsome marketing man told us to.
0:32.0	They say a sucker is born every minute, and if I know anything about myself, I can and will be that sucker.
0:39.0	I'm easily fooled, tricked, and or swindled.
0:42.0	I'm the perfect mark, barely paying attention, easily trusting, and often distracted.
0:47.0	So what are you waiting for? Go watch us flap out gums.
0:51.0	Links are in the show, notes, subscribe, comment, and validate my life choices.
0:58.0	Picture this, static cars, idling engines, angry horns.
1:10.0	Now, picture you, zooming past it all, light and breezy.
1:18.0	Ah, the sweet feeling of whizzing past traffic.
1:23.0	Book your train journey via AvantiWestcoast.co.uk.
1:27.0	AvantiWestcoast, feel good, travel.
1:37.0	You're listening to The Sandspans Network.
1:41.0	Hey, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe.
1:46.0	I'm Jack. And I'm also Joe.
1:48.0	And this is the pop culture podcast where we ask the important questions,
1:51.0	like, how would you market the xenomorphs to regular people?
2:08.0	So, uh, wayland utani. Yeah.
	...

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