How Winning is Costing You Relationships

Your Move with Andy Stanley Podcast

Andy Stanley

Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 June 2024

⏱️ 12 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all want to be heard and understood. But if we're both only speaking to be heard without stopping to hear the other, our relationships may suffer—and no one wants that.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everybody, Susie here.
0:03.0	Welcome to On the Move, a mini-series with Andy Stanley designed to be quick, practical, and
0:07.7	insightful.
0:08.7	Because life is busy, and it can be hard to find time to invest in yourself.
0:12.9	But I hope you can take a few minutes
0:14.4	to learn a tip or two on how to improve your relationships
0:17.5	and live with fewer regrets.
0:19.5	Let's get started.
0:24.0	This is the interesting thing about all conflict is we want exactly what the person we're having the conflict with wants.
0:32.0	We actually, both parties want the very
0:34.8	same thing. Both parties want to be heard, right? I want to be heard and more than
0:40.1	heard. I want to be understood, right?
0:42.8	I want you to be quick to listen to me,
0:45.0	and I want you to be slow to speak, but you want me to be quick
0:47.8	to listen and slow to speak, because you want to be heard and understood,
0:50.8	I want to be heard and understood.
0:52.1	It's like we're saying,
0:53.0	look, we may not ever agree, but you've got to listen to me. We might not ever agree on how to parent.
0:59.2	We may never agree on this decision at work. We may never agree on what I should major in. We may never agree on whether he's the right for me or she's right for me.
1:06.0	We may never agree, but come on, at least listen to me.
1:11.0	And if you have to say something, if you're going to interrupt, if you have to interject, if you have to say something, then say something that lets me know you heard me, even if it's a grunt, even if it's an aha or an aah, I mean just if sound is going to come
1:27.6	out of your mouth, I don't want you to argue with me. I want to know that you've heard me after all.
	...

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