This is LBC from Global, leading Britain's conversation, mystery hour with James O'Brien.

Four minutes after 12 is the time, and it is upon us.

345-60-60973 is the number that you need.

If you want to join in what is a weekly celebration of fun and frolics

at the moment but also a sort of intergenerational excitement given that mystery hour has been

unexpectedly invaded by people under the age of 13 and frankly it's all the more fun for it

so we'll get that up and running in a moment.

I can confirm, I think that as I suggested to you a moment ago,

it's been confirmed that Boris Johnson will not face a criminal investigation over elements of his relationship with Jennifer Arcuri.

There'll be no criminal probe. City Hall is to renew its own

probe, a young woman who appeared to be very close to the Prime Minister and who ended up being

put on various missions, trade missions to exotic claims that she had previously been a judge

not qualified to do. So no criminal investigation into his relationship while he was

mayor of London. That's a decision taken by the police watchdog. So we don't need to distract

ourselves from Mystery Hour.

I was worried that we may.

What this is is a curious little confection,

conceived for reasons that most of us can barely remember.

But it does a lot more than what it says on the tin.

It's much more than the sum of its parts.

And frankly, over the last few weeks,

it's become something of a, something of a balm, hasn't it, really, for our fevered brows? It's

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