Today I talk to one of the most thought-provoking and influential writers on the subjects of happiness, habits and human nature. Gretchen Rubin has sold over 3 million books worldwide and also hosts the Happier with Gretchen podcast. We begin the conversation discussing what happiness really means and why so many of us struggle with it. Happiness is such an elusive concept and Gretchen believes that it’s more helpful to think about being happier – to ask ourselves things like ‘if I do this, will I be happier next month or next year?’ or ‘will this bring me more love and less things like guilt, anger, resentment?’ These are simple questions that can actually make a profound difference to our lives. We also talk about the fact that happiness does not mean that we will feel good all of the time. Sometimes we do things because they're meaningful, or because they serve a higher value even though they don’t make us feel good in that moment. If you are stuck in your life and feel as though you are not getting nourished by either your work or life situation but don’t know what to do, Gretchen shares some brilliant strategies to help guide you onto the right path. We also discuss how we can encourage our kids to find the right path for them. We move on to talk about Gretchen’s insightful book, The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too). When researching human nature, Gretchen realised that by asking the simple question 'How do I respond to expectations?', we can gain life changing self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer to this question, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. I think you will love discovering what tendency you and those around you have. We discuss exactly what those tendencies are and how knowing them gives us six key benefits - we’re more likely to achieve our aims, make better decisions, meet deadlines, meet promises to ourselves, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others. The wonderful thing about understanding these tendencies is that not only do we get the best from ourselves, we get the best out of other people as well. I really think that everyone will see themselves (and those around them) in one of these tendencies and that understanding them will improve the way you interact with yourself and others. Show notes available at https://drchatterjee.com/181 DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.