How to VALIDATE Your Partner! Why This Is Important But Difficult When You Don't Agree: Episode 322
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 19 December 2023
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If you have listened to the podcast at all you probably have thought "Yes, I get the importance of validating my partner but HOW exactly do I do that?" Even if this is your first time listening you likely have the same question about how to have your partner feel validated in their experience especially when you do not agree with their feelings or details of an event!
Validating a partner is a difficult thing to do because you will not always see (or experience) events the same way. You also might feel as if they are blaming you for how they feel, which makes it more difficult to validate because it seems you have to take the blame. In this episode you will hear 7 easy actions to take to have your partner feel validated but also understand the real importance of validation on positive influence!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empower Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship |
| 0:05.8 | advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same team. |
| 0:11.6 | No matter the challenge that you face, I am one of your host, Aaron Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, |
| 0:15.5 | but you all just know it says the Freeman's. And this episode is about how to validate your partner. |
| 0:21.9 | And we'll go into why this is so important and difficult, especially when you don't agree. |
| 0:27.1 | It's really hard at times to validate our partner when we don't agree. |
| 0:32.5 | And how often do we focus on agreement? |
| 0:36.3 | I'm going to do everything I can to convince you, to change your perspective, to see it my |
| 0:41.8 | way. |
| 0:42.8 | And if I don't agree with your feeling, your thought, your idea, then what? |
| 0:47.8 | I'm going to discount you. |
| 0:49.2 | I'm going to invalidate you. |
| 0:51.0 | Does that benefit our relationship or does that have us get more distant? |
| 0:55.1 | Well, and the big part of this too is, maybe you've heard this before, that this objective |
| 1:01.3 | truth. |
| 1:02.7 | And we've got to move more into this realm, I suppose, of subjective truth, or at least |
| 1:07.9 | allowing for the emotional experience of our partners to be |
| 1:12.6 | accepted as it is. |
| 1:14.7 | In our repair process, obviously, we talk about can you just be responsible for a role |
| 1:19.4 | you played in that impact, but that's not the role that we're going here today. |
| 1:24.6 | It's really about that mindset that my partner needs to feel understood |
| 1:32.2 | in the experience they're having without me putting on top what I feel is the truth or |
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