How to Understand the House Buying Process

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Education, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.8 • 933 Ratings

🗓️ 29 March 2022

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Big breath: Tessa bought a flat. Stevie wants to know what it was like. If you or anyone you know are thinking of going through the flat (or house) buying process, this is the episode for you. Involves some WILD jargon, helpful hand-holding advice and something about paying for a war in the olden times which Stevie still can’t get a handle on.

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Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Clarissa Maycock and Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Transcript

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0:18.4	Welcome to the podcast coming over the threshold and into this home. Chess is carrying me.
0:19.9	I am like a bride across our threshold.
0:23.0	Ooh, and then I go, oh, that's actually, that was bad, actually, that's my hernia.
0:26.6	And then we spend our wedding night in pain to get curled up.
0:29.8	That's marriage.
0:31.0	This is my friend Tessa, and I'm'm Stevie and this is nobody panic where we do
0:34.8	howtus each week and try and like saw our lives out and this one is a very special one.
0:40.0	I'm a very special person. This one I have been dilly-dallying around doing for a long time.
0:48.0	It is how to understand the house buying process.
0:52.8	And obviously a snappier title would be
0:55.4	how to buy a house.
0:57.1	But for lots of reasons that we're going to unpack,
1:00.5	that's not what we've called it and for some people listening are like are you
1:04.8	kidding me of course not this in which goes please be on your way
1:09.1	sorry people are saying are you kidding me of course Of course not this. Why are they saying that?
1:13.4	Because they're like, I can't, I can't even begin to consider it, you know?
1:16.5	But I can't, this is why, so this is good episode. If you're listening, stick with me because the episode
1:21.1	might as well be called How to walk on water but I'm
1:24.0	interested in it yeah well that's why I feel ever so anxious about doing it
1:27.2	because I don't want people to be like I can't walk on water no but I would love to
1:31.8	know the process if I could if I could quiz Jesus on how we did that.
1:35.0	Okay. What an episode that would be? So I think there's a very British and unhelpful tendency to if someone's bought a house or bought a flat,
	...

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