How to Turn Your Wife On, Why Your Wife is Your Sparring Partner, and How to Help Her in Her Feminine Role | ASK ME ANYTHING

Order of Man

Ryan Michler

Business, Health, Leadership, Relationships, Man, Society & Culture, Intellect, Style, Lifestyle, Money, Selfdevelopment, Wealth, Fitness, Selfhelp, Nutrition

4.8 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2025

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Ryan and Kipp dive deep into what it means to be a man in modern relationships — how to lead with strength, clarity, and purpose without falling into the "nice guy" trap. They break down how to build trust, create safety and structure for your partner, and why healthy conflict is essential for growth.

You'll hear powerful insights on what truly turns your wife on (it's not what you think), why your marriage needs to feel like a sparring match instead of a competition, and how to help your wife flourish in her feminine role by being consistent, decisive, and dependable.

Whether you're married, dating, or just want to understand masculine leadership on a deeper level, this episode will hit hard.

Join the conversation and learn how to stop being a "nice guy" — and start being a strong, grounded man.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 – Hunting stories and catching up
03:14 – Nice Guy vs. Good Husband: How to tell the difference
05:28 – Compliance vs. Commitment in relationships
07:42 – Marriage as a covenant, not a transaction
10:14 – The importance of defined roles and expectations
13:44 – Vetting your partner before marriage
15:09 – Why your wife is your sparring partner
16:39 – Handling sacrifices that go unseen or unacknowledged
20:36 – The difference between sacrifice and self-pity
24:28 – How to help your wife step into her feminine role
27:55 – The "bowl and water" analogy — structure and flow in marriage
29:38 – How predictability builds trust and safety
33:04 – How to turn your wife on (for real)
37:26 – When one partner wants more kids
42:23 – The future of relationships in a hookup culture
45:25 – The cost of the "I don't need a man" mindset
48:08 – The dangers of red-pill bitterness
50:19 – How to attract the kind of woman you want
50:45 – Iron Council and Divorce Not Death

Battle Planners: Pick yours up today!

Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	A woman is like water. She flows and she goes and she moves and it's very feminine energy.
0:06.2	And the man is the bowl. He's the container that holds the water that provides structure where the water can flow freely without ruining the things around it or getting out of control or being chaotic.
0:17.1	And our job as men is to be to be that structure, is to provide discipline, to provide direction, to provide clarity.
0:25.9	And I try to do this in my relationship.
0:29.9	Kip, what's up, man?
0:30.8	Great to see you.
0:31.5	It seems like it's been weeks since we had a conversation like this.
0:35.5	I think it has been.
0:36.8	We had Sean on last week, Jay, the week before. And so, yeah, we're going on two, three weeks ago that we last met. I'm just, I'm just bored of talking to you. So I'm trying to figure out every way I can to get out of having to talk with you every week about it. Yeah, the little self-esteem of me is like, oh, Ryan's trying
0:54.7	to avoid, avoid me, but you're just a busy guy. You got lots going on. I love it, man. Everybody's busy. Everybody's busy. But I've been doing good stuff. I went on a hunt with speaking of Jay. Jay was out there. Sean's hunted with me. You've hunted with me. My oldest son was out there in Minnesota with me. We had some success. So
1:12.1	all in all, it's been a good couple of weeks. Yeah, I saw that box of, on social media, I saw
1:17.9	that box and meat that you got to, to bring home with you. That was a little jealous.
1:22.7	Yeah. That was a big deer, too. We did some, that dough I shot was the biggest deer, the biggest dough I've ever shot.
1:30.9	Like she was, I wondered if she was like part horse or part elk or something because she was just massive.
1:38.0	But yeah, put a good shot on her.
1:40.3	I actually thought, I thought I made a bad shot on her because when I hit her, I just kind of
1:45.3	saw brown stuff go out of her. I know it's a little graphic, but I was like, oh no, and I thought
1:51.8	I hit her in the guts. And obviously, as a hunter, I hope it's obvious, you know, we want to make good,
1:56.8	clean, ethical shots so they die quickly. And so I'm sitting in my tree stand just waiting for her
2:02.8	and I waited about an hour just ruminating on this bad shot that I made. And the guys came to
2:10.0	grab me and give me a lift to see if we could find the deer. And I got down and my arrow was
2:14.7	pegged into the ground. So it passed through her and I looked at it and it was
	...

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