Hey, everybody, come on and take a seat on the virtual couch.

Hey everybody, welcome to episode 325 of the virtual couch.

I am your host, Tony Overbay.

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, a certified mindful habit coach, a writer,

a speaker, a husband, a father of four, and creator of the Path Back,

which is an online recovery, pornography, recovery program that is helping people reclaim their lives from turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

So if you want more information about that, go to pathback recovery.com and have an amazing group that meets every week.

It's online through online, telehealth, Zoom, that sort of thing.

And it's just strength-based. It's empowering. So if you want help in overcoming unhealthy coping mechanisms, go to pathback recovery.com. And I'm going to leave up a place on my website at tonyoverbay.com slash workshop. And there I have a, it's a $19 hour and a half workshop that tells you everything you need to know about how to show up in a relationship, especially in marriage, because I feel like we truly don't have the tools that we need. I'm talking no one does until you have to go find the tools, and you don't find the tools until you've gone through some things in your relationship or your marriage. So you don't even have to have a bad relationship to go check this out. I talk about all the things, all the childhood abandonment,

attachment wounds, and how we show up like that in our adult relationships and how we really,

we really don't even understand what it means to be two people, two individual people,

before we can be one person. That's an Esther Perel quote, and it's a beautiful quote. So go to

Tonyoverby.com slash workshop to find out more. And I've got a lot of workshops that I have planned that are coming up that will deal with a lot of different issues. I look forward to telling you more about those things. And head over to the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast. I have an interview coming out this Friday with a gentleman named Ross Rosenberg, and he wrote a book called The Human Magnet Syndrome.

And Ross is doing some phenomenal work about redefining the concepts of what codependency is and talking about renaming it self-love deficit disorder.

And it's a really, really healing way to look at if you are in unhealthy relationships, whether it's with a spouse, whether it's a parent, whether it's with a church and institution, and that really this self-love deficit is something that is so common in a lot of us. So when you hear people say things like, you need to go work on yourself, you need to love yourself, you need to be able to validate yourself internally. So often, that sounds awesome, but we don't really know what that

means. Ross is really hitting that right on the head. And I have just a fantastic interview with

him that is going to go up on the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast on Friday. So today I want to talk

about trauma. And I want to go on a little bit of a little bit of a train of taking out my train

of thought

here. I've got an article from psychology today by Andrea Brandt. She's a clinical psychologist,

as well as a marriage and family therapist. And she talks about nine steps of healing childhood

trauma as an adult. And I think that so often I have people come into my office and they say,

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