How to Transform Your Relationships: Attachment Styles with Thais Gibson

Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness

Sony Music

Science, Self-improvement, Comedy, Education, Society & Culture

4.9 • 21.5K Ratings

🗓️ 3 December 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Relationships aren’t just about chemistry or communication — they’re shaped by the attachment style running the show behind-the-scenes. This week, JVN sits down with author, educator, and founder of The Personal Development School, Thais Gibson, to break down the four core attachment styles and how they shape the way we love, communicate, and connect. If you’re trying to make sense of the way you are in any relationship, this episode gives you the roadmap to understand yourself more deeply and build the connections you actually want. From early childhood patterns to the subconscious programs we carry into adulthood, Thais explains how our nervous system learns to stay safe — and how we can recondition it to build healthier, more secure bonds. They’re digging into the traits of secure, anxious, dismissive, and fearful-avoidant attachment, how to identify your style, and how each one impacts intimacy, conflict, boundaries, and communication. Thais also shares the five pillars for transforming your relationships, practical tools for rewiring old habits, and why positive framing at work can shift your entire dynamic. Full Getting Better Video Episodes now available on YouTube. Follow Thais Gibson on Instagram @thepersonaldevelopmentschool Follow Getting Better on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Follow Jonathan on Instagram @jvn Check out the JVN Patreon for exclusive BTS content, extra interviews, and much much more - check it out here: www.patreon.com/jvn Senior Producer, Chris McClure Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure Production support: Chad Hall Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure. Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey Better Babes, I'm Jonathan Van Ness and welcome back to getting better.
0:04.1	Today, we're understanding attachment styles and improving our relationships with our friends,
0:09.6	our coworkers, our lovers, and most importantly, ourselves.
0:13.7	Why do we love the way that we love?
0:15.4	Why do we need the way that we need?
0:17.5	What is attachment styles and how can learning them better change our lives fundamentally
0:22.5	and really get us to a healing place, which is what's so important. For all of that today,
0:27.3	our guest is Taise Gibson. She's a counselor, author, and founder of the Personal Development
0:32.7	School. Taise has spent years studying attachment styles and the subconscious mind, And she created integrated attachment theory to help people understand their patterns and
0:41.9	actually change them, not just name them.
0:44.9	And if you love this conversation, there's more where that came from over on our Patreon.
0:48.9	We're giving listener questions, our French Kitty Corner, and getting into more themes that we
0:52.8	covered on the podcast itself. For people watching the podcast, obviously my hair is half wet. I'm also a founder. I'm testing out a little product today. I'm testing out a little technique and it required an air dry, so I don't want to scare you, Taise. I don't want to scare anybody, but that's why my hair is like this. So that's not what came here to talk about. Taise, for our people that are just getting to know you, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do? So I am the founder of the Personal Development School, and I started that program after being in private practice with clients for about eight years, and then sort of did both at the same time for a few years. And basically, I really help people with their relationships. So by trade, I'm a counselor, coach, and really dive deep into the neuroscience of relationships and
1:31.7	love. I love that. That's so cool. Okay. So now for anyone who's like maybe like newer to attachment
1:37.4	style or hasn't heard about it, they definitely are newer to the pod because we do talk about
1:41.4	attachment style. And I'm a big fan of attachment style i love
1:44.3	stan tachin and like you know the whole like anchor wave island thing so in the simplest terms
1:51.7	what is attachment style and why should someone care about theirs so in the simplest terms your attachment
1:57.6	style is these subconscious rules that you've learned about love. So these things
2:00.8	that you're not necessarily conscious about, but that you've learned in terms of how to give love
2:05.5	and receive love, how to meet each other's needs, what to expect in relationships, how to communicate.
2:10.3	And everybody should know about theirs because, number one, everybody has an attachment style.
	...

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