How to strengthen your relationships — one airport ride at a time (w/ Kasley Killam)
How to Be a Better Human
TED
4.2 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 6 October 2025
⏱️ 42 minutes
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Summary
How often do you connect with different people each week? How many many close relationships do you aim to cultivate during those connections? And how long do these interactions last? Kasley Killam has the perfect guide to help you build better social connections – the 5-3-1 Rule. Kasley is a social scientist and the author of The Art of Science and Connection. Kasley joins Chris to discuss the future of social connection – why do we invest in physical health but not social health? And what happens when you substitute companionship for AI chatbots? Kasley shares tips on how to connect with your community and rethink social norms on technology.
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Host: Chris Duffy (Instagram: @chrisiduffy | chrisduffycomedy.com)
Guest: Kasley Killam (Instagram: @kasleykillam | LinkedIn: @kasleykillam | Website: https://www.kasleykillam.com/)
Links
TED Talk: Why social health is key to happiness and longevity
Substack: Social Health with Kasley Killam
Book: https://www.kasleykillam.com/social-health-book
Newsletter: https://www.kasleykillam.com/newsletter
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to How to Be a Better Human. I am your host, Chris Duffy. |
| 0:05.7 | This is an episode of our podcast that has had a direct and immediate impact on my life. |
| 0:11.0 | My family and I just moved and I was totally overwhelmed by the boxes and the unpacking and all of the logistics. |
| 0:17.5 | But because of today's guest, Casley Killam, I sent out an email to a bunch of friends and I asked for help. |
| 0:23.9 | I was frankly very nervous about sending this email. |
| 0:27.0 | I was worried what people would think. |
| 0:28.5 | Was I being annoying? |
| 0:29.3 | Was it rude to ask for help? |
| 0:30.7 | Were people going to stop liking me? |
| 0:32.6 | But instead, people were so kind and responded and helped us out. |
| 0:37.2 | And what's more, we had fun. I mean, |
| 0:39.6 | it was still overwhelming and I still think moving is extremely unpleasant. It's not like that |
| 0:44.3 | part changed, but it was a lot less unpleasant than it could have been. And that's because |
| 0:49.3 | I got so much social support. Today's guest, Casley Killam, has been studying the importance of social |
| 0:54.9 | support and connection for years. And as you'll hear in this episode, she directly challenged me |
| 0:59.8 | to do more to ask other people for help. To believe that, asking for help can in fact help strengthen |
| 1:05.3 | friendships. But Casley has also been looking at how dire the current state of social connection is. |
| 1:13.6 | And she believes that we really need to view this as a crisis. |
| 1:16.1 | Here's a clip from Casley's TED Talk. |
| 1:24.5 | Hundreds of millions of people around the world go weeks at a time without talking to a single friend or family member. |
| 1:28.8 | Globally, one in four people feel lonely. |
| 1:34.0 | And 20% of adults worldwide don't feel like they have anyone they can reach out to for support. |
... |
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