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Nobody Panic

How to Straighten Your Teeth

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Education, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.8933 Ratings

🗓️ 27 September 2022

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

AKA how to wear Invisalign (other brands are available sure). Stevie is about to finish her 100 days with a retainer. Tessa never wore hers and nearly broke her teeth. Between them, they have some genuinely helpful dos and donts for anyone thinking of getting these fancy invisible braces (also, how much they actually cost).


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Recorded by Ben Williams and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, it's welcome to go for the pilot.

0:14.8

Imagine we're in the dentist's chair.

0:17.2

Our mouth is full of gums and bits,

0:19.4

and they've got a stick in there.

0:21.4

I've got a stick in my mouth. And yeah, I've had a good holiday.

0:25.0

Um, yeah, it doesn't hurt. Thanks.

0:28.0

No, that's fine. Oh!

0:30.0

Um, welcome to the podcast. Today it is about teeth.

0:34.8

It came a point about five years ago when suddenly everybody started having these see-through

0:40.5

retainer braces and I've called them retainers because when I think

0:43.8

braces I think trousers so every time I say braces I start to then go

0:48.2

of course I mean braces for your tooth not your trousers and I was like

0:51.4

nobody thought you meant braces for your

0:52.8

trousers and not your trousers and not your trousers.

0:55.4

In America, do you know braces are called suspenders?

0:59.3

Isn't that wild? What do they call the sexy things that... I don't know. It's like in Australia they callip-Flongs.

1:02.8

Yeah.

1:03.8

Insane. Yeah, I remember, yeah, my sister's partner was like,

1:06.0

I was just wearing a thong.

1:08.0

In America they call your bum, you're fanny.

1:10.0

Absolutely wild.

1:12.0

People are like, I'm just gonna bop her on the fanny. Absolutely wild.

...

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