How to Stop Taking Things Personally

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 8 February 2024

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Take the Free Relationship Quiz here: https://join.heyritual.com/TIAN50 Do you take things personally? Do you get offended easily? Do you spend a lot of time trying to figure out which person is the "Jerk"? Taking things personally is a super complex relational strategy we use to protect ourselves when we feel threatened, but it leaves us feeling isolated and dramatic. In this video we're going to learn 3 steps to stop taking things personally, and how to stop taking offense. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast. I'm Emma McAdam, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
0:05.8	These episodes are filled with research-backed therapeutic education that you can start applying in your life today.
0:11.5	I hope you find today's episode beneficial, and if you know of someone who could benefit from this podcast, please don't hesitate to share it.
0:18.9	Let's work together and share tools everyone can use to help deal with the difficult mental health struggles they're going through.
0:25.6	Each podcast episode comes from a corresponding video. You can find them on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube channel.
0:32.7	Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction you may be receiving from a therapist
0:40.1	or other health professionals. Please enjoy the episode. There's a reason your brain likes to take
0:46.7	things personally, and I'm going to show you why. And three steps to stop taking things personally,
0:52.7	and I would say the third one is what really makes you feel secure.
0:56.8	But first, story from my life.
0:59.1	So full disclosure, sometimes I write videos for everyone else.
1:03.9	Sometimes I write videos for a client that I have in mind.
1:06.5	And sometimes I write videos for myself.
1:08.9	And this video is the latter.
1:11.0	So I grew up in a culture where being assertive was considered unbearably rude.
1:16.0	And if someone did something you didn't like, taking offense was our most commonly used
1:21.2	defensive weapon.
1:22.9	And it's a mental habit that I still fall into sometimes.
1:25.2	So story time.
1:27.1	In my early 20s, I lived in Argentina
1:29.0	for 18 months serving a church mission. My coworker at the time was in Argentine, and sometimes we
1:35.0	struggled to get along, probably in part because I was just learning Spanish, and there were a lot
	...

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