How to Stop Repeating Unhealthy Love Patterns | Sheleana Aiyana

The Daily Motivation

Lewis Howes

Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 893 Ratings

🗓️ 9 December 2025

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1436 Sheleana Aiyana emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and self-reflection in order to understand one's own role in perpetuating unhealthy patterns. By examining past experiences, traumas, and beliefs, readers can gain clarity about the subconscious patterns that drive their choices in relationships. Sign up for the Greatness newsletter: http://www.greatness.com/newsletter

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.
0:10.6	Why do you think we repeat these negative patterns in relationships so frequently?
0:17.0	You know, we have a bad experience in one relationship.
0:19.2	We look for someone new and then it repeats. And then we do it again and again. Why does that happen for people? We're looking for a resolution. In the back of our minds, we might not even be aware of it, but we're looking for resolution to that thing that happened or to that story that said, you're not lovable, or that story story that said you have to fight to earn love.
0:38.3	Somewhere in our minds we're looking to prove that story true or we're looking to complete the process.
0:45.3	And so we look for somebody who matches the template so that we can perhaps do that work.
0:50.3	And typically it hasn't worked out. What we don't realize is that our partner is doing that
0:54.3	exact same thing. But with the self-awareness and the willingness piece, if we're both aware,
0:59.5	and we're like, okay, we both do have some stuff to work on here. Here's what I've got to work on.
1:04.3	Here's what you want to work on. Do you want to do this together with that frame? Then we really can
1:10.3	get on the same track together and team up and do that healing work.
1:14.6	Otherwise, it just does repeat endlessly.
1:17.9	And it's easy to just blame the other person.
1:20.0	Well, there's something wrong with you.
1:21.3	I'm just going to get rid of you and go and find my soulmate.
1:24.2	Right.
1:24.5	The next person.
1:25.1	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:25.5	Exactly.
1:26.5	What was the best thing you did before
1:28.8	getting married the second time? Yeah. That really supported entering the marriage? The thing that I
1:35.3	love that we did was we created shadow vows. Shadow vows. Yeah, and those were sort of, we also
	...

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