How to Stop Hiding After Trauma (Starting Today)
This Jungian Life Podcast
Joseph Lee, Deborah Stewart, Lisa Marchiano
4.7 • 2.1K Ratings
🗓️ 15 January 2026
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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If you have been through betrayal or loss, you may still be living by a terrible rule you made when in pain.
It can look like hiding, overworking, numbing out, or letting people cross lines because being unseen feels safer. This episode uses the fairy tale “All-Kinds-of-Fur” to help you identify your survival pattern and take the next step out of it. When you update the rule you made when in trauma, you get your choices back.
What you’ll learn
- Identify the “impossible promise” that keeps you stuck, and where it began.
- Notice your “fur cloak,” the mask of busyness, perfectionism, people pleasing, or disappearing.
- Stop confusing coping with identity, and start practicing safer honesty.
- Practice the “30-minute return,” small windows to feel, speak, and be seen.
- Build endurance through gentle reveal-retreat-return, until you can stay safely present.
Joseph Lee and Deborah Stewart, Jungian analysts, turn this tale into a guide to show how your inner world can heal after trauma.
In the tale, the princess survives by covering herself in fur and soot, and you may have built a costume too. That costume once protected you; now it may block love, work opportunities, and genuine intimacy. You might scroll at night, over function in relationships, or stay “fine” so nobody asks.
Healing is repeated practice; you show up, you pull back, you show up again. The “gold” in the story is what stays intact in you, even after the worst day.
This week, choose one safe moment to let that gold show, one honest sentence, one boundary, one small ask, then note the result.
Read along with the dream HERE.
LOOK & GROW
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | And this is part of the discipline of working through a fairy tale. |
| 0:04.0 | We could just stare at the lurid part of the fairy tale and then just not look at anything else. |
| 0:11.2 | But if you really, we're just in the first few sentences, you're really sinking in this is about trauma, the inability to move on from trauma, strange covenants. |
| 0:20.8 | There are conditions, there are prisons |
| 0:24.8 | inside of people that they can't get out of. Welcome to this Jungian life. Three good friends and |
| 0:35.5 | Jungian analysts, Lisa Marchiano, Deborah Stewart and Joseph Lee, |
| 0:39.7 | invite you to join them for an intimate and honest conversation that brings a psychological |
| 0:44.8 | perspective to important issues of the day. I'm Lisa Marchiano, and I'm a Jungian analyst in Philadelphia. |
| 0:53.4 | I'm Joseph Lee, and I'm a Jungian analyst in Philadelphia. I'm Joseph Lee, and I'm a Jungian |
| 0:55.8 | analyst in Virginia Beach, Virginia. I'm Deborah Stewart, a Jungian analyst on Cape Cod. |
| 1:17.6 | Today, Lisa is unavailable, so Deb and I are going to handle the podcast, and we're going to talk about a really powerful, intense fairy tale called Alarlyo, which translates loosely into all kinds of fur. |
| 1:31.3 | I'll stop by reading the fairy tale and then we'll jump into the symbolic meaning. |
| 1:36.2 | As a bit of orientation, Jungians are interested in fairy tales because we believe |
| 1:42.9 | that they are the vestigial stories that human beings have created, |
| 1:48.7 | and the reason they've kept them alive and told them over and over again, is that there's some |
| 1:54.2 | kind of unconscious wisdom, that the collective wisdom of humanity is solving for certain problems, and that fairy tales and |
| 2:05.4 | myths for that matter, are the artifacts of figuring out what to do. Many Jungians like von |
| 2:13.8 | Franz saw them as vestiges of archetypal events, |
| 2:19.8 | that the archetypal world has its own evolving life, |
| 2:23.8 | and that fairy tales are glimpses of things that are changing in the archetypal world. |
| 2:31.2 | Other theoricians had different perspectives, |
| 2:33.9 | and we'll be talking about it from a number of |
... |
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