4.8 • 649 Ratings
🗓️ 24 July 2024
⏱️ 23 minutes
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In this episode, Dr. Aziz dives into the heavy but crucial topic of self-esteem and how to stop the cycle of self-hatred that many people with social anxiety and niceness struggle with. Discover why self-criticism can be so destructive and learn practical steps to break free from this damaging pattern.
Dr. Aziz will guide you through understanding the different parts of yourself, the role of the inner critic, and why we often buy into these harsh messages. More importantly, you'll learn how to make the decision of a lifetime—to be on your own side and step fully into your life.
Tune in to uncover powerful insights and practical actions that can transform your relationship with yourself and boost your confidence. If you’ve been enjoying the show, please take a moment to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your feedback helps others find the show and supports our mission of mass liberation from social anxiety.
Ready to stop hating yourself and start living with confidence? Let’s get started!
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Do you ever feel like you're your own worst enemy? That inner critic that's constantly whispering negative things in your ear? You're not alone. Many people struggle with an inner voice that’s not just critical, but downright abusive. It's time to break free from this cycle of self-hate and embrace a healthier, more empowering mindset. In today’s post, we’ll explore three transformative keys to overcoming self-hate and building genuine self-esteem.
Recognize the Inner Critic
We all have different parts of ourselves. There's the part that wants to get up early and be productive, and then there's the part that just wants to stay in bed. Similarly, there’s a part of you that wants to be bold and confident, and another part that wants to hide and avoid difficult situations. The problem arises when a hypercritical part takes over and dominates your inner dialogue.
Stand-Out Quote
"We are often harsher to ourselves than we would ever be to a friend. This inner critic isn’t helping you—it’s hurting you."
Understand the Impact of Self-Hate
Imagine being in a romantic relationship where your partner constantly belittles you, calls you names, and makes you feel worthless. This is exactly what happens when we let our inner critic run wild. It's verbal abuse, and it’s coming from within. This kind of self-talk is not just unkind; it’s damaging.
When I was working with a client recently, she asked if positive self-talk was the solution to her low self-esteem. While it's part of the solution, the bigger issue is the constant self-criticism that drains our self-esteem. It’s like trying to fill a bucket with holes in it—you need to patch the holes first.
Challenge the Inner Critic
The next step is to challenge this critical voice. Ask yourself why you are choosing to believe these negative thoughts. Often, this critical part is trying to protect you from perceived dangers, like rejection or failure. But in reality, it’s keeping you small and preventing you from living a full life.
Key Content Points
Awareness and Choice: Become aware of your self-critical thoughts and recognize that you have a choice. You don’t have to believe everything you think.
Challenge the Critic: When negative thoughts arise, challenge them. Recognize that they are trying to protect you, but they are not serving you.
Step into Life Fully: Defy the critic by taking the actions it tries to prevent. Put yourself out there, take risks, and be willing to face discomfort. This is where true growth happens.
Stand-Out Quote
"The only way to truly transform this inner critic is to do the things it's trying to protect you from. Step into your life fully and embrace the discomfort."
An Inspiring Message of Hope
You have the power to change this inner dialogue. It starts with awareness, continues with challenging those negative thoughts, and grows as you step into your life fully. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many people struggle with self-hate and self-criticism, but it’s possible to break free. You can build a life where you are confident, bold, and authentic.
Final Encouragement
"You are worthy of love and respect, starting with yourself. Embrace who you are and take the steps to challenge that inner critic. The journey to self-esteem and confidence is one of the most rewarding paths you can take."
For more tools and resources on building self-esteem and confidence, check out my book On My Own Side. It’s available on Amazon and Audible, and it’s packed with actionable insights to help you overcome self-criticism and embrace your true self.
Thank you for being with me today. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.
For more information, visit socialconfidencecenter.com for free blogs, e-books, and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence.
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0:00.0 | Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. |
0:05.0 | This is the show for you if you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self-doubt, |
0:10.0 | social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. |
0:15.0 | I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my |
0:21.9 | journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence, first in myself and then in every |
0:28.5 | single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them |
0:33.1 | in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. |
0:43.7 | Hey, welcome to today's episode of the show. I know, I know. It's a pretty heavy title. I thought |
0:51.0 | about titling it something a little lighter, like three keys to self-esteem, |
0:55.8 | which is really, I mean, that's that self-esteem is about, is how to stop disliking yourself. |
1:04.0 | But really, when you get down to it, most people, especially people I work with, social anxiety, niceness, |
1:09.7 | they don't just dislike themselves. |
1:12.5 | They kind of sort of hate themselves sometimes. |
1:16.3 | Or maybe a more accurate way to say it is they hate a part of themselves or qualities about themselves |
1:22.6 | or maybe an even more accurate way to say that it is part of them, maybe part of you, |
1:29.9 | dislikes or hates other parts of you, which might sound really confusing, but not that much |
1:36.9 | when you think about it. |
1:37.6 | Like, we're all a collection of parts, aren't we? |
1:39.9 | You know, you got the classic example I use is you got the part that wants to wake up early |
1:42.9 | in the morning and hit it. |
1:46.0 | Whatever it's, whatever you're hitting it is. |
1:47.5 | A morning meditation routine. |
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