How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2024

⏱️ 17 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Here’s what we do know about comparison- it contributes to mental health concerns like eating disorders, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, body dissatisfaction, jealousy, narcissism, and perfectionism. It can also lead to other problems like overspending to keep up with the Joneses. One study found that when someone in a neighborhood won the lottery, neighbors began making big purchases like expensive cars that they couldn’t afford. When we compare ourselves to others it will always let us down in the long run. Let’s talk about 3 reasons why comparison lets us down, and then we’ll talk about what to do instead. Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, I'm Emma, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and you're listening to the Therapy in
0:04.3	a Nutshell podcast. It's my mission to create easy to understand educational content about
0:09.9	therapeutic skills and topics that anyone can use in their daily life. I hope these episodes
0:14.9	bring you more insight into how your mind works and what actions you can take to improve your
0:19.7	mental health. Each podcast episode
0:21.7	comes from a corresponding video you can find on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube channel. Also,
0:27.9	these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction you may be receiving
0:32.8	from a therapist or other health professional. Now let's jump into today's skill.
0:38.3	I see this all the time in therapy.
0:40.3	People come in feeling like crap about themselves,
0:42.3	and then when we dig into it,
0:44.3	they might not even realize it,
0:46.3	but it's because they've been comparing themselves to others.
0:49.3	That's why they feel like they are never good enough.
0:52.3	They feel like they're never going to measure up because everyone
0:55.7	else is happier, prettier, fitter, or more successful than they are. Now, sometimes comparison
1:02.4	does make you miserable in a different way, like you constantly look for people who are worse than you
1:07.4	to lift yourself up. So you might be like, oh, he's so lazy, she's so vain,
1:12.6	he's so undisciplined, or you do this with entire groups, right? Cops are all pigs, blacks are
1:17.9	all dangerous. Fill in the political party. Republicans are all bigots or stupid. And while you
1:24.8	may feel slightly better in the short term when you compare yourself to someone
1:30.2	you perceive as worse than you, that boost doesn't last long because it's founded in
	...

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