How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement

4.8 • 657 Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2026

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Want to learn how to stop comparing yourself to others? Jealousy is often seen as negative, but you can learn to deal with jealousy through curiosity and values work. Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Jealousy and envy are emotions we all feel, especially when we get stuck in comparison—seeing someone confident or attractive and instantly wondering what’s wrong with us. But jealousy isn’t a flaw; it’s a messenger. In this Therapy in a Nutshell episode, Emma McAdam breaks down how to stop comparing yourself to others so you can actually understand what your jealousy is trying to tell you. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to another episode of the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast. I'm Emma McAdam and I'm a licensed
0:05.6	marriage and family therapist. And this podcast is all about taking the life-changing, but usually
0:11.0	kind of complicated topics of therapy and boiling them down into simple, easy-to-understand concepts
0:16.8	that you can use in your daily life. If you find today's episode is helpful to you,
0:20.9	please pass it on to someone else who could benefit from it as well. Each podcast
0:24.5	episode comes from a corresponding video you can find on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube
0:28.6	channel. Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction
0:33.1	you may be receiving from a therapist or other health professionals. Now please enjoy the episode.
0:38.3	Hey everyone, I'm Emma McAdam and this is Therapy in a nutshell. And because you're seeing me on YouTube, that means you're on social media.
0:45.3	That also means you probably run into something that most of us experience, but almost no one wants to admit.
0:51.3	Jealousy. You get stuck comparing yourself to others.
0:55.5	Now, we usually think of jealousy as a shameful or toxic emotion.
0:59.2	When we're fused with it, we might feel a burning sense of competition, victimhood, or hatred
1:05.2	toward others.
1:06.6	It feels gross, right?
1:08.9	Or we might judge ourselves for feeling that way and try to push that feeling away.
1:12.6	But what if jealousy isn't something to be ashamed of?
1:15.6	What if it's actually a messenger or a guide?
1:18.6	So in this video, I'm going to show you how to transform jealousy from a source of pain into personal insight, healing, even empowerment.
1:26.6	Let's get into it.
1:32.3	Okay, so have you ever seen anyone walk into a room and maybe they're super fit or
1:38.3	confident or stylish? And instead of admiring them, you hear that little voice that says, ugh, I'll never be like
	...

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