Hi, I'm Lauren Hodges and this is NPR's Life Kit.

So we need to talk. Actually, you need to talk. That's why you clicked on this episode.

Something is getting to you or confusing you or even hurting you. Your check engine lights on,

and it might be time to see a therapist about it. Of course, it's not as simple as flopping down

on the nearest couch and spouting out some feelings. It requires a bit of homework. I know, gross,

you're already overwhelmed and you're about to turn this off, but I already did a bunch of it for you.

Of course, I can't do the actual work of therapy for you. I'm just going to get you through the

part that seems to be really hard for a lot of people, scheduling that first appointment.

Why is it so hard exactly? Well, I think that a lot of people feel like if they start therapy,

that means something's wrong with them and other people might look at them differently.

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and author of the book, maybe you should talk to someone.

She says we tend to treat physical and emotional health very differently. We wouldn't hesitate to

go to the doctor if we needed stitches or pain medication, but our thoughts and feelings.

We feel like there's a hierarchy of pain and if our problem doesn't feel big enough, we wait until

we're basically having the equivalent of an emotional heart attack before somebody will make that call.

And those 2am calls to our best friends don't count. They love you, but they need sleep.

Also, there's a big difference between venting to our people and talking to a professional.

Yes, I know it's more familiar and comfortable to talk to loved ones. They already know the backstory

and they're on your side, but that's kind of the problem. I think that there's something

about going to a therapist that keeps people from doing it, which is they kind of know in the back

of their head that therapist is going to kind of call them on the truth. I'm completely guilty

of this by the way. I've used my friends and red wine and bad TV as a replacement for real therapy

...