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How to Age Up

How to Start Over: When Can a Marriage Be Saved?

How to Age Up

The Atlantic Monthly Group, LLC

Education, Social Sciences, Science, Society & Culture, Self-improvement

4.0 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 20 June 2022

⏱️ 40 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Romantic relationships often show us the deep divide between expectations and reality. For any relationship struggling to overcome conflict, the first step to starting over may be identifying how your vision of marriage is out of step with your partner’s. In this episode of How to Start Over, we explore why some marriages can withstand conflict, why most couples struggle to validate their partner’s needs, and how to think about when a breakup is in order—by better understanding why the relationship is struggling. This episode was produced by Rebecca Rashid and is hosted by Olga Khazan. Editing by A.C. Valdez and Claudine Ebeid. Fact-check by Ena Alvarado. Engineering by Matthew Simonson. Special thanks to Adrienne LaFrance, executive editor of The Atlantic. Be part of How to Start Over. Write to us at howtopodcast@theatlantic.com. To support this podcast, and get unlimited access to all of The Atlantic’s journalism, become a subscriber. Music by FLYIN (“Being Nostalgic”), Monte Carlo (“Ballpoint”), Mindme (“Anxiety [Instrumental Version]”), Timothy Infinite (“Rapid Years”), Sarah, the Illstrumentalist (“Building Character”), and Gregory David (“Twist One”). Click here to listen to more full-length episodes in The Atlantic’s How To series. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:10.0

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experimenting with a new look or trying out a new recipe

0:16.0

and thanks to the Sims, inspiration is just one game and one spark away.

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Ready to spark something?

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Download the Sims 4 and play for free.

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you'll want to put on repeat.

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0:53.0

In a moment, one of these pairs will begin to handle their conflict constructively,

0:58.0

working toward a solution for their differences.

1:01.0

The other couple will let the conflict handle them

1:04.0

so that hostility mounts and a solution is farther away than ever.

1:08.0

See if you can tell which one of these couples...

1:10.0

My boyfriend and I have been together since 2010

1:13.0

and so that's what it does in years.

1:15.0

And I have been writing down the things that we get in fights about

1:19.0

and they're all extremely stupid.

1:22.0

So the big one is recycling, which is that I don't recycle.

1:26.0

You don't recycle Olga?

...

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