What specifically do you think it is that you're struggling with?

I'm struggling with the name change.

You know, when you're pregnant, you spend nine months like coming up with names you know I got an

ultrasound I knew I was having a boy combing through all those baby books picking the

perfect name I really liked the name Kevin and I saw myself as the mother of two boys so I feel like I have to

change my identity now too.

Welcome to how to I'm Charles Duig. Not long ago, we heard from a listener named Karen who lives in Pennsylvania.

And before we start, if you could just introduce yourself the same way that you might introduce yourself to a stranger

or if you met someone new and wanted to tell them who you are?

The only problem is that's one of my questions is I don't know how to introduce myself anymore.

The reason this is so hard for Karen is because a while back, one of her kids who's 21 years old,

told her that they identify as non-binary, which means that their gender identity falls outside how we've historically defined male and female.

I thought that Kevin was totally typical boy, always had a girlfriend, just I plays video games, all the

stereotypes that I would have thought for boys. I saw so this came as a complete shock to me.

And are you close with your kids?

Yes, yes, very close. I mean I gave up and you know,

I stayed home with them. I did everything for them. So I would say, you know, my identity was totally as being the mother of these two boys.

Karen's oldest child now goes by the name K

and uses the pronouns they and them.

Kay first told their mom that they were non-binary

in a phone call while they were at college.

I knew something was up because he said,

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