How to Sound Assertive Without Sounding Rude

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

Civility Media

Self-improvement, Relationships, Society & Culture, Education

4.9 • 8.9K Ratings

🗓️ 13 January 2026

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, I break down how to communicate clearly and confidently without crossing into rude or aggressive territory. You’ll learn why tone matters more than words, how to frame sentences so people actually listen, and why the most assertive communicators say less, not more. If you’ve ever been told you’re “too soft” or worried about coming off harsh, this one will change how you speak immediately. Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. LMNT. Head to https://drinkLMNT.com/jefferson to try risk free. BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	AI is incredible. They can teach you how to fry an egg and even write a poem, pirate style.
0:07.0	But it knows nothing about your work. Slackbot is different. It doesn't just know the facts.
0:14.0	It knows your schedule. It can turn a brainstorm into a brief and it doesn't need to be taught.
0:20.0	Because Slackbot isn't just another
0:22.4	AI. It's AI that knows your work as well as you do. Visit Slack.com forward slash meet Slackbot
0:28.8	to learn more. How do you sound assertive without sounding rude? I'm going to get right to the point
0:36.5	in this podcast. You know what it is. It's the
0:38.2	Jefferson Fisher podcast. Number one, if you're looking for a gift this holiday season, give the
0:43.3	gift of a better conversation. You can find my book, The Next Conversation, in the links. Number
0:47.3	Two, the workbook is also out. Been working a lot on that. You're really going to enjoy it and find
0:52.0	some practical examples that you can use alongside
0:54.1	with the book. How to sound assertive without sounding rude? How's that for skipping through an
1:00.6	intro? I find that assertiveness is one of the top things that I get asked. It's a spectrum.
1:07.2	You have aggression on one side, and I would say you have passive on the other.
1:13.6	Aggression says, I don't respect you. Passive says, I don't respect myself. Assertiveness
1:21.6	is somewhere in between where I can say, I can respect you and at the same time I can also respect myself. I'm going to
1:29.7	assertively get through this podcast episode with you. You ready? Number one, how do you sound
1:35.8	more assertive without sounding rude? Number one, it's tone. Tone has a large part to play
1:41.8	in it. Probably 98% of being more assertive is your tone. Tone is something
1:48.6	that is innate within all of us. And the best way I can compare it is music. Think of music.
1:55.4	I want you to think of a piano. Think of just close your eyes unless you're driving or walking.
1:59.4	Don't do that. And think of piano keys.
	...

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