How To!: Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep
Slate Books
Slate Podcasts
3.8 • 546 Ratings
🗓️ 11 July 2023
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Sleep is objectively worse when splitting a bed. Yet that's the default for most couples. But that doesn't mean sharing the covers is easy. Especially when one person is having trouble falling or staying asleep. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, co-host Carvell Wallace continues the conversation with Dr. Wendy Troxel, author of Sharing the Covers: Every Couple's Guide to Better Sleep. Dr. Troxel explains how couples can experiment with sleeping arrangements in a way that makes everyone feel safe, and why sleeping apart might be the key to saving your relationship.
If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Stop Snoring (and Breathe Easier)."
Do you have a problem that's keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.
Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I am so aware that he's beside me and like, oh, he's breathing. |
| 0:07.6 | Any slight movement? |
| 0:09.7 | Like, I'm like, oh, I'm up. |
| 0:12.0 | Welcome to how to. |
| 0:13.4 | I'm Carvel Wallace. |
| 0:14.6 | This is the second of a two-part series on sleep and how to get more of it. |
| 0:20.0 | Last week, we met Vanessa, a radio host and entrepreneur who has been struggling with symptoms of insomnia for years. |
| 0:27.2 | I just remember having sleeping issues when I was younger, but not so much because of anxiety, but I think more of excitement. |
| 0:35.1 | But eventually I would fall asleep. |
| 0:37.5 | It was probably university days where I started really noticing, |
| 0:43.0 | okay, like, it's getting tougher for me to fall asleep. |
| 0:47.6 | Right. |
| 0:48.0 | Yeah. |
| 0:49.3 | Over the years, she's developed some coping strategies, |
| 0:52.2 | like wearing earplugs to drown out the noise, |
| 0:55.4 | using mantras to convince herself that she's safe and secure, or just creating a cozy sleep |
| 1:00.6 | environment. And yet, when her partner stays the night, all bets are off. |
| 1:06.8 | I get really stressed out about not being able to sleep. And then I think also it's the anticipation of, |
| 1:12.4 | oh, my partner is going to be staying over with me. And I just really need to get a good rest. And then I don't. |
| 1:19.4 | And then it's so frustrating. Yeah. And then that's when I sometimes end up moving to my couch, |
| 1:26.3 | where I know I can at least get like a good couple hours |
| 1:30.4 | of shut-eye before I have to get up and go to work and stuff. Here's what we know. Sleep is objectively |
... |
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