In the world that we live in, we're told to be sexual in these very specific mainstream ways,

but it's not one-size-fits-all.

It's about us. It's about our bodies. It's about what we want.

Welcome to how to, the show where we take your toughest questions,

the questions you don't know whom to ask,

and tackle them with the help of the wisest people we know. I'm Amanda Ripley. Quick warning,

this episode is not safe for work, nor is it appropriate for young years. So if this one isn't

for you, we'll see you next week. But if you do stick around, you're in for a good one.

It's not often that we get such a vulnerable question to the how-to hotline.

Okay, so I'm Brenda.

I am a student currently in New York studying for a master's in mental health counseling.

I also work at a grocery store to pay tuition. Well, thank you so much

for reaching out to us. Brandon, can you tell us a little bit about the question that's on your mind?

So the question that's been on my mind is essentially how to orgasm, because I'm still exploring

sexuality and everything.

And I find that while I am very romantic,

I wonder whether or not I'm asexual,

like whether or not I feel sexual attraction,

because it seems like I'm missing out on something that's kind of,

I don't know, I don't think important is the right word,

but like, you know, I'm missing out.

Mm-hmm. Is the feeling one of frustration? Is it more one of worry? How does this make you feel?

...