How To React When They’re Playing Innocent

Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

Society & Culture, Wifeofanalcoholic, Codependency, Relationships, Recovery, Alanon

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 2 June 2019

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Last week we talked about covert aggression when you love someone suffering from addiction. So if you missed that episode, please go back and have a listen.

This week we’re building on that - so what are tactics our loved ones might use when they’re being covertly aggressive?

Let me ask you this: Does your partner ever play dumb? Forget things that have happened? Dispute fine details? Act oblivious? All of the above?

Sing it sister. Because I hear you. I totally understand. My ex-husband used to do the same crap. And many women in our community experience it as well.

And let me be clear: this is a tactic used by your partner and their addiction.

It makes us feel crazy. So how do we navigate? How do we deal? Are we supposed to sit back and let it slide?

Find the answers you’re looking for today: https://loveoveraddiction.com/how-to-react-when-theyre-playing-innocent/

Get a glimpse behind the scenes of LOA + Michelle’s personal life: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Find out more about the Love Over Addiction movement here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast. Thanks for joining us this week.
0:27.0	Before Michelle starts teaching, I wanted to say two super quick things. Number one, please rate and review us on iTunes. You can go to iTunes directly or love over addiction.com slash review for step by step instructions on how to leave a review.
0:41.0	And number two, if you will have a free guide sheet, you can go to love over
0:47.0	addiction.com slash communicate to get yours. I told you that would be fast. We've gotten feedback that you don't love
0:56.6	the longer version explanations when we ask for reviews or share guide sheets. So we listen and we're keeping it short and sweet this week.
1:05.1	Enjoy. Last week we defined what it means to be covertly aggressive and today I'm going to cover the first sign
1:16.4	of covert aggression so if you have not started with last week's episode I would suggest you start there. If you are like oh my gosh boring
1:27.2	Covert aggression what is that sounds too technical not interested I hear you and I got you covered. I promise you a couple things.
1:37.0	Number one this is going to be short, sweet and to the point.
1:41.0	Number two it will not be boring. You will be sitting there going oh that sounds like me and
1:46.8	number three of course it will be encouraging because there is nothing on this earth more that I love to encourage you.
1:57.0	I mean I love my husband and I love my kids and I love my friends but I really really love encouraging you.
2:05.0	So let's dive in to the first sign of covert aggression.
2:11.0	Are you ready?
2:12.0	I kind of teased you last week with it. Here we go. It's
2:15.8	playing innocent, pretending to be ignorant, or pretending to be confused.
2:25.0	This is covert aggression.
2:27.0	So it's playing dumb when something is awful
2:31.0	or when something awful they did is called to their attention. An example of
2:37.5	this that pertains to someone suffering from addiction is when they act surprised that their behavior was inappropriate
2:47.0	or surprised that they had too much to drink.
2:50.0	So if they said they committed that they would go to a party with you, but then they backed
	...

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