Welcome to the Life Church podcast. Before we get started, we wanted to let you know that today's

message contains content about pornography that might not be suitable for children. Listener,

discretion is advised. Well, the temptation started for me in the seventh grade. And just to give you

context in case you forget what a seventh grader looks like, this was me in the seventh grade.

Very proud that I was on the All Star team, but just a little kid asked to babysit for a neighbor.

And it was my first official babysitting job. And I was so excited to take care of the kids.

I was going to be a great babysitter and was excited beyond measure, but I had no idea how excited

I would be when I noticed that my neighbors had a giant stack of Playboy magazines. We're not

talking about like just 12 January, February, March, April, but like two years of 12 months.

A Playboy magazine sitting right out on the coffee table in plain view. And I know you look at

me as a man of God, but I need to tell you that long before I was a pastor, I used to just be a boy.

And I remember the feeling and the rush of sexual excitement because just a few feet away from me

were pages and pages of women without shirts or bras if I can say that. And that was the only time

I had ever had access to it with the exception of in the fifth grade when my friend found it,

or National Geographic, which didn't really count, or Barbie dolls that I would occasionally

strip down, but we don't want to talk about that because that's really gross and I'm sorry I even

said that out loud. But on the spot, and in that moment, I just changed my babysitting strategy,

which is kids, you're going to be going to bed a little earlier tonight. And I spent the next two or

three hours just flipping page by page through the whole stack. And what I felt was confusing.

Because I'll be honest, I mean there was like this buzz and this hit and this thrill and kind of

waves of confusing sexual energy to a little boy followed by deep guilt and shame and remorse and

embarrassment. I felt dirty and just hated that I did that. If you can relate to what I just said,

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