Hello and welcome to Dames and Dragons.

Do you want to play Dungeons and Dragons, but you suddenly forgot how to read?

Do you want to play Dungeons and Dragons, but books ignite your latent fear of stacks of paper?

Do you want to play Dungeons and Dragons, but your yuppie neighbor told you that reading is over, and podcasts are in,

and your entire life revolves around the approval

of bike riding, antiques loving Whole Foods going kale eaters?

Then this is the episode for you.

Throw out the manual.

You don't need it.

Get that manual out of the trash.

You will need all those details later.

And best of all, it's completely unscripted.

Let's learn to D&D! This brief play primer is for 5th edition Dungeons and Dragons, and is not comprehensive, particularly about character building and the ins and outs of DMing.

If you need more details, you can purchase the 5th edition Players Handbook from Wizards of the Coast.

If you're here to understand D&D rules before listening to our podcast, welcome.

But listen, asshole, if you're just here to learn D&D unrelated to our podcast, welcome.

I'm Noelle.

I'm Caitlin. I'm Sophia. When I'm Cat,

you're a dungeon master. Whoa, cat, not on the air. Come on. Really inappropriate,

Cat. Dungeon masters are part of the game, you foolish idiots. It's the most important role in D&D. The D.M. is god to players. What they say

goes. So what do they say? Everything. The dungeon master, sometimes known as game master,

describes each scene sets up puzzles and obstacles, speaks as non-playable characters, plays as enemies,

...