How To Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous with Chris Voss & Moshe Cohen

The Anxious Achiever

Morra Aarons-Mele

Business, Careers, Management, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 599 Ratings

🗓️ 19 February 2026

⏱️ 74 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Negotiation isn’t just about boardrooms and big deals. It’s every time you ask for what you need that brings up fear, self-doubt, and a rush of emotion that can derail the whole conversation. In this episode, I talk with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and negotiation expert Moshe Cohen about why so many of us dread conflict, how curiosity can quiet anxiety, and how to use tactical empathy as a strategic tool. We also share the tools to slow down emotional hijack and manage rejection. Tune in to learn how to regulate your emotions and negotiate with clarity instead of fear. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why negotiation is happening in almost every interaction. 04:45 What are the 3 types of handling conflict? 09:15 How curiosity shuts down fear in your brain. 12:15 Is asking questions in general a good technique in a negotiation? 16:30 What empathy really means in negotiation. 23:15 How bonding and trust influence negotiation outcomes. 26:15 Why you should talk less and listen more in negotiation. 32:00 How naming your emotions reduces their intensity. 38:00 How often does that anxiety show up during a negotiation exercise? 41:00 Tips to slow down time when you feel emotionally hijacked. 46:15 What is the listening triangle? 50:30 How much advice is too much in a negotiation? 57:00 How to build your rejection muscle. 01:00:00 The stories you tell yourself before and during a negotiation 01:02:00 How knowing your BATNA lowers the stakes and raises confidence. Resources + Links Get the Anxious Achiever Healthy High Achieving App - studio.com/morra Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Chris: on LinkedIn @christophervoss + Instagram @thefbinegotiator Follow Moshe: on LinkedIn @moshecohen

Transcript

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0:00.0	don't wait protect your privacy built your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10
0:08.5	clicks and 10 minutes visit northwest registered agent.com slash achiever free just head to tachiatry
0:17.0	dot com slash achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist
0:21.8	in just a few minutes. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash anxious achiever.
0:30.2	That's Shopify.com slash anxious achiever. Just head to brevo.com slash achiever to take your marketing further with Brevo and its
0:42.4	AI assistant, ORA, which will help you craft smarter campaigns and create great content.
0:53.2	Today, two negotiating masters on how to negotiate well, when you feel strong emotions, when
1:03.6	you're anxious.
1:05.1	First, Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator, author of Never Split the Difference.
1:12.8	And then Moshe Cohen, who teaches at BU and is really an expert.
1:19.6	And this is one of the things that you will love in this episode and you will never forget
1:24.6	at how to regain our agency and our power when we are taken back
1:33.5	by strong emotions during a negotiation. So if negotiating is something that you do every day,
1:40.8	which we all do, and it brings up strong feelings and maybe some wobbles.
1:45.1	You're going to get a lot of this episode.
1:48.1	And before we dive in, I just wanted to remind you that I have an app.
1:51.8	I have an app.
1:52.9	Go to studio.com and get the Anxious Achiever coaching app.
1:57.4	It is full of reflections and exercises and videos and meditations. And it's a coach.
2:06.7	It's like having, you know, me in your pocket as you go through the workday, wanting to manage
2:14.2	your energy, manage your anxiety, and lead with strength.
2:19.8	So go to studio.com slash mora, just like my first name, studio.com slash mora and get the
	...

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