How to Navigate Common Arguments

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 30 January 2023

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to deal with common forms of interpersonal conflict. They explore the four common disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book 1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling 3:40: The importance of the way something is said 8:10: Disentangling tone from content 9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact 12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict 17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm 25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation 29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening 35:45: Trust 39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate? 41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back 43:40: Peoples’ capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth 46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself 49:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, welcome to Being Well, I'm Forest Hanson.
0:10.8	If you're new to the podcast, this is where we explore the practical science of personal
0:14.8	growth, and if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:17.9	I'm joined today as usual by Dr. Rick Hanson, Rick is a clinical psychologist, he's the
0:22.6	best-selling author, and he's also my dad, so dad, how are you doing today?
0:26.8	I'm good, and I'm looking forward to this conversation with you.
0:29.6	Yeah, so you have a new book out, it's titled Making Great Relationships, Simple Practices
0:35.4	for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love, and if you're interested
0:40.8	in ordering it, you can find it pretty much wherever books are sold, and today I wanted
0:45.2	to focus mostly on the first part of the subtitle, and talk with you a bit about how we can
0:50.0	get better at navigating conflict in our relationships.
0:53.6	And we'll start by talking about some general concepts, but I also thought it would be fun
0:57.2	to make this as practical as possible for people, and I'd like to describe a couple of
1:03.1	fairly common interactions I've seen people get stuck in, and I'll ask you how people
1:08.0	might navigate them a bit more skillfully.
1:10.0	Does that sound good to you?
1:11.3	Oh, great.
1:12.3	My bread and butter has a longtime couples counselor and longtime husband and father and
1:18.7	neighbor and son and brother and human, for sure, for sure.
1:25.8	Talking about the first part of that, couples counseling, what were some of the most common
1:29.6	kinds of conflict, either in a one person who's talking about something that they're dealing
1:34.1	with in their life or when people enter your office as a couple that you saw between
	...

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