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How To! with Mike Pesca

How To Manage Your Anger

How To! with Mike Pesca

Peach Fish Projects

How To, Education

4.32K Ratings

🗓️ 28 April 2026

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tyler holds himself to high expectations, placing a deep value on self-sufficiency and the social contract. But as a science teacher and dad to a blended family, he gets incredibly frustrated when others do not hold themselves to those same standards. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings on psychologist Dr. Ryan Martin, known as the Anger Professor, to talk through the realities of male anger and why our closest relationships trigger us the most. He walks Tyler through assertive communication, the "grounding" technique, and why keeping your cool is less about burying your feelings and more about understanding the core principles that spark them.

Executive Producer Corey Wara

Edited by Geoff Craig

Booking by Ben Astaire

Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at howto@mikepesca.com and we will consider your topic for the show.

For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast, a slight change of plans,

0:07.0

a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans.

0:11.0

I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change.

0:16.0

We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have

0:23.8

like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. Listen to a slight

0:32.5

change of plans wherever you get your podcasts.

0:39.5

You guys are both in here just like sitting and I'm coming in with the baby

0:41.3

and now I'm going back out.

0:43.3

Like, both of you have your shoes off.

0:44.9

Shoes don't go back on once they come off.

0:48.5

And then on the drive,

0:49.9

it is rehearsing how I'm going to be correct

0:53.0

in the eventual argument that we're going to have.

0:55.5

I'm getting all of my ducks in a row.

0:59.6

Tyler is like a lot of us.

1:01.7

He's specifically a teacher, a dad, and here's the universal part.

1:06.1

He sometimes gets angry.

1:08.4

Like, say, the goings-on around multicultural night.

1:12.9

No problems.

1:13.9

Like, we kind of knew it was coming, but we decided in the moment, yeah, we're going to go.

1:17.7

And so now I'm on deck with baby, right?

1:20.3

Which is, again, fine.

...

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