How to Make Decisions Together
The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast
Ascension
4.9 • 7.1K Ratings
🗓️ 26 September 2019
⏱️ 8 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Fr. Mike says the key to making decisions together is distinguishing between preferences and principles. If the reason you’re favoring a choice is a matter of principle, it is your duty to lead the other person in that decision to the truth of that principle. If the choice you’re favoring is just a matter of preference though, charity suggests that you default to the preference of the beloved one involved in the decision instead.
Fr. Mike uses going to church as an example. It is a matter of principle that we have to go to Sunday Mass and worship God the way he tells us to, so if someone tells us going to a Catholic Mass is just our preference we can tell them as a matter of fact it’s not. However, if the issue is which church we go to for Sunday Mass, say St. Francis’ Church or St. Andrew’s, more often than not that is just a matter of preference.
For a helpful book on decision-making, check out _Pray, Decide, and Don’t Worry _by Jackie and Bobby Angel, with Fr. Mike.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | And the course of human events. |
| 0:03.1 | And of course, human events, I have, is that a beginning of something? |
| 0:08.6 | How many of the further makes sense and this is essential in the course of human events? |
| 0:16.9 | There are times when people have conflicts with one another. |
| 0:20.9 | One of the things I will talk to people about is how critical it is to be really good at |
| 0:25.8 | solving problems with another person. |
| 0:27.3 | So, for example, in a marriage relationship, the number one thing I would say that couples |
| 0:32.2 | can get really, really good at is making decisions together. |
| 0:35.5 | Like that's just, I just think that's like top of the list. |
| 0:39.0 | Making decisions together is a really, really helpful thing for any couple to have. |
| 0:45.1 | Or any just any relationships to have. |
| 0:46.8 | It doesn't have to be a rant a couple, but just even good friends, a family, to be able |
| 0:50.7 | to say how do we make decisions together knowing that we're all different. |
| 0:55.3 | All that being said, one of the pieces that is really important and when it comes to making |
| 0:59.8 | decisions or when it comes to having that communication is being able to distinguish the |
| 1:04.5 | difference between a principle and a preference. |
| 1:07.5 | You might have been there in the past, right? |
| 1:08.9 | Where, here's someone, and they're making a very, very key argument for something that's |
| 1:13.0 | absolutely necessary. |
| 1:15.4 | You are doing this thing wrong or this is absolutely incorrect. |
| 1:18.9 | And you have to say, okay, wait, is that a principle? |
| 1:21.8 | Like, is that a truth? |
... |
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