How to make – and keep – friends
Post Reports
The Washington Post
4.4 • 5.1K Ratings
🗓️ 15 November 2025
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Friendship is vital for our health and happiness, but we don’t always prioritize it. The Optimist’s Maggie Penman goes on a journey to make new friends and learn why so many of us are craving connection.
Today’s show was produced by Maggie Penman, with help from Ted Muldoon, who also mixed the show. It was edited by Allison Klein.
For more stories from The Optimist, subscribe to our newsletter. If you want to hear more stories like this on the weekend, send Maggie an email at [email protected].
If you want to check out Billy's book, it's called We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Okay, I am walking up to this event for Real Roots to meet a group of women who are looking to make friends. |
| 0:16.0 | And I'm feeling a little nervous. |
| 0:19.0 | On a recent Thursday night in downtown Washington, D.C., I went to a bar to make new friends. |
| 0:26.4 | I haven't been on a first date in like 10 years, but I kind of have that like about to go on a first date feeling. |
| 0:39.2 | I actually don't think 10 years is even really long enough |
| 0:42.4 | because I don't think I've tried to show up at a new place |
| 0:45.9 | just to make friends probably since the beginning of college. |
| 0:50.5 | So yeah, I was pretty nervous. |
| 0:53.1 | So I'm going to go inside. |
| 0:56.0 | We'll see how it goes. |
| 1:01.0 | Real Roots is an app that matches you with a group of new potential friends. |
| 1:06.0 | In other words, basically strangers. |
| 1:09.0 | And it's trying to solve this problem that a lot of people have. |
| 1:12.9 | It's not just me. |
| 1:14.3 | It's really hard to make new friends as an adult. |
| 1:17.1 | There were a couple dozen women at this bar for the same reason I was. |
| 1:20.3 | Yeah, so I'm someone who likes to try and push myself and try new things, and I also really |
| 1:25.5 | enjoy meeting new people. |
| 1:27.3 | I grew up with social anxiety, and now that I'm an adult it's actually really hard to make new friends |
| 1:33.3 | because I just work and sleep. |
| 1:36.3 | I work from home so pretty isolated. I have been for a little while. |
| 1:40.3 | I've been here about a year. |
... |
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