I think your connection only really can get super deep when you are able to open up those layers of yourself by getting to know yourself and then you can share them with another person and see how you can better harmonize together.

So when they curate are up the longest running study on human flushing the grand study was asked if there was anyone factor that most contributed to a life where lived.

His answer was clear love full stop.

In no small way love makes a life and we're not talking romantic love only we're also talking about the love you have for family or chosen family or for those kind of friends who make you feel seen and heard and held or for those you're in community with who share set of common bonds and maybe less obviously for those you don't even know but somehow find a place of compassion for that changes both them and you often in ways you'd never sell coming.

But in this day and age these different kinds of love they tend to feel more complicated maybe less available and for many less accessible and easy to actually embrace.

So today we're bringing you a very special episode drawing upon the deep wisdom of five past guests each experts in the space of love and relationships and self discovery to share sometimes provocative unique and valuable insights about how to love and be love.

How to hold relationships with curiosity and allow room for growth how to create a society wide container for compassion and then invite people in even those you struggle to like or be in the same room with let alone love you'll hear from Julian don gob and you've been married and also researching love and relationships both clinically and in the lab for over four decades together writing mega best selling books on the topic.

You'll hear from Diego Perez who most of you might know from his online monitor young play blow on creating the space for growth.

Rev Angel Kyoto Williams will share an expansive lens on love and its connection to compassion holding the space for difference and liberation and our friend.

I kind of spoken word artist in Q shares a beautiful spoken word piece and really a frame based on his own experience of falling in love wrapped with an invitation for us all to find moments to create magic.

So excited to share this special episode with you I'm Jonathan Fields and this is good life project.

So first up we have partners in life and work Julie and John got men who have been collaborating for decades to bring Julie's deep clinical insights working with couples to John's academic research together with what's become known as their work in the love lab training thousands of professionals and couples on how to do love better.

They help us explore the critical topics that both anchor and unaddressed can trip up loving relationships built into a series of dates and opportunities to rekindle curiosity about each other even if you've been together a long time.

Here's Julie and John.

So one of the reasons that we wrote this book eight dates was because many long term relationships people get so busy in their lives I get so absorbed with the the minutia of career and children that their lives turn into this infinite to do list.

So we're not making time for one another and so we wanted to write a book that would create eight dates in which people could connect with one another and we could rekindle curiosity and one another and that's what these dates are for.

There for really talking about what do you need in terms of play adventure fun what's into the connection sexuality what about money what do you feel about money what's enough money why is money so important what's the history of your family with money and your own life with money so these eight dates are designed to reconnect people and some of that is about nature it's about sense of meaning about life dreams share purpose.

Children community family all those kinds of things yeah and what's interesting to me about I mean the book is is fabulous by the way it's called eight dates and we'll certainly will mention it in the show notes as well.

It was interesting to me that that you wrote this book also initially it sounds like for people who are looking to find love like here are eight days that you can go on and eight really important things to talk about and explore with the sense of openness and curiosity to find out are you.

With somebody who may be compatible you know long term but it also seems like along the way you know you you both realize oh this isn't just for you like exploring new love this is for people who have been together for for potentially decades to go back in and not only revisit conversations but maybe have conversations that you've never had even though you may be together for you know like you know you can't even

be a very long time right exactly so we we feel tested these dates with 300 couples you know we we like to be empirical these these couples of gay couples lesbian couples heterosexual couples and they agreed to video to

take their dates so we can listen to the dates and make sure they worked right so you know what we saw was also coming from a lot of our clinical work which is that couples can be together for decades just like you're pointing out and because their lives are so busy as John was mentioning they haven't stayed in tune with each other right so each individual is evolving over time

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