How To! | Lose Your ‘Virginity’ at 43

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4 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 11 March 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

For most of her life, Elizabeth was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which forbids having sex outside of marriage. But she recently left the Mormon faith, and now she’s ready to have sex for the first time—at age 43. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Nicole Hardy, author of Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin to offer Elizabeth advice that’s relevant to anyone who’s ready to tap into their sexuality later in life—but unsure how (or where! or with whom!) to start. If you liked this episode check out: How To Orgasm, How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy, and How To Be Free of Body Shame Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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1:00.4	My name is Elizabeth.
1:02.3	I am 43 years old.
1:04.5	And I just recently left the Mormon church.
1:08.9	I grew up in it and have been in my whole life, and I,
1:11.9	at the end of last year, just realized it was not working for me and it was time for something new.
1:20.0	Welcome to how to. I'm Courtney Martin. How to, as you know, is an advice show, and we get
1:26.6	questions about everything from how to pay off your student loans to like how to have a yard sale.
1:32.8	And then there are deeply personal questions, like Elizabeth, which arrived in an email with a subject line, How to Lose My Virginity in my 40s.
1:44.0	Okay, now just a heads up, we are obviously going to talk
1:46.8	about sex in this conversation. So, in her message, Elizabeth wrote, I grew up in the
1:52.8	Mormon church, which has very strict rules about sex outside of marriage. I never got married,
	...

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