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How To! with Mike Pesca

How To Live With a Dirty Family Secret

How To! with Mike Pesca

Peach Fish Projects

How To, Education

4.32K Ratings

🗓️ 7 September 2021

⏱️ 28 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Usually when something enters Rachel's parents' home, it never leaves. Growing up, Rachel and her siblings tried to clean out the growing piles of junk, but her mom would often dig into the trash to retrieve whatever was tossed. Rachel finally escaped her parent's over-stuffed house but she still worries about their safety and quality of life. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jessie Sholl, author of Dirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother's Compulsive Hoarding. She knows what it's like to spend hours decluttering a house teeming with stuff, only to have it come back with a vengeance. Many of us will eventually have to parent our parents, but how do you handle such an extreme case? Jessie explains that hoarding is a mental illness and advises Rachel on how to find agency in a situation that feels so helpless.

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Avoid Becoming Your Mother."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi everyone, I'm Susie Weiss, and I've noticed there's just simply not enough podcasts in the world. So I'm launching my own. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Second Thought is a weekly show about pop culture. The stuff everyone's been binging, arguing about, obsessing over. Here's the thing about heated rivalry. I mean, even the most devoted swifties, I think we can agree, not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures. Talk about genius.

0:22.6

Talk about generational talent.

0:23.7

Coming to headphones near you on

0:25.0

April 17th with a first guest you won't want to miss. Available wherever you get your podcasts.

0:30.7

It's an issue where it's a fire hazard. Like that was definitely a source of disruption in my life in the sense of knowing my parents could, like, go up in flames at any moment.

0:41.3

And nothing I could do could save them unless I wanted to face head on this complete meltdown.

0:49.7

Welcome to how to. I'm journalist Amanda Ripley.

0:54.7

Have you ever stumbled across a room that fills you with dread in your parents or your grandparents or, let's be honest, your own house?

1:03.6

You know the one. A dusty attic just piled with boxes. You know that someday you're going to have to deal with.

1:12.0

Or maybe it's a garage,

1:15.3

just teeming with junk that no one will ever use.

1:21.1

Luckily, most of us can ignore all this stuff until we absolutely have to deal with it later in life.

1:22.3

But our listener this week doesn't have that luxury.

1:25.9

I'm a little bit nervous.

1:26.9

This is the first time of, like, I mean, used a public forum to talk about this.

1:32.5

This is Rachel.

1:33.9

She doesn't want us to disclose where she grew up or any other identifying information

1:38.5

because her family has a dirty secret, literally.

1:43.4

Growing up, there were many people in a fairly small house,

1:46.7

and there were also many, many things.

1:49.8

It wasn't just things, but also garbage,

1:53.2

like what you would objectively look at as garbage.

...

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