What's something you're looking forward to post-divorce?

Well, I mean, because I've had a taste of the separation, just not having that anxiety when talking to Rodney on the phone, you know, what's he going to say, you know, what's wrong now, what, you know, to just be done.

Welcome to how to. I'm Amanda Ripley.

We have a lot of questions on this show about relationships and marriages, how to maintain them,

how to make them stronger and more fulfilling.

But sometimes, let's be honest, the best solution for a troubled relationship is to end it. The average marriage

lasts eight years, and while the divorce rate nationwide has been going down for decades,

the divorce rate for couples over 50 years old has actually been rising. Those couples are now

twice as likely to divorce as they were in 1990.

That's the hard reality that this week's listener, who we're calling Bernadette, is wrestling with.

After the pandemic, my husband said that he wanted to get out, and that's where I am now.

Mid-50s hadn't worked a very long time counting on the life that we set and now trying to navigate it which is what brought me to how to how do

I navigate this new change in my life something I didn't expect but something I know I need to

embrace and I am but how does one do that professionally,

personally, and do it well? Yeah, no, that's a lot. And I appreciate you're reaching out to us,

Mernadette. I know it's not an easy thing. So it was his idea to end the marriage. And it came as

something of a surprise, but not entirely do I have that right

I would say that I knew the marriage was not healthy was not at its I can't even say it was good

and I assumed that we'd be in a not good marriage for the rest of our lives because it's what

we committed to so it was a shock and I'm like what now what and it's what we committed to. So it was a shock. And I'm like,

now what? And it's the pieces. That's why I wrote to how to decide what pieces to pick up

first. What do I do, given that what I thought was, isn't. In some ways, Bernadette is fortunate. Her three kids are all grown up now, so there won't be a giant custody battle, and she has a PhD and a good job.

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