How to let go of being a "good" person | Dolly Chugh

TED Business

TED

Business, Modupe Akinola, Ted Business Podcast, Business Leadership Podcast, Ted Talks Business, Ted Modupe, Ted Talks

4 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 11 October 2021

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if your attachment to being a "good" person is holding you back from actually becoming a better person? In this accessible talk, social psychologist Dolly Chugh explains the puzzling psychology of ethical behavior -- like why it's hard to spot your biases and acknowledge mistakes – and shows how the path to becoming better starts with owning your mistakes. After the talk, Modupe and Dolly give examples from their own lives of what it means to break down defenses, and be truly "good-ish."

Transcript

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0:00.0	Ted Audio Collective
0:07.0	Here's the hard truth.
0:10.0	Feeling like a good person or being viewed as a good person
0:14.0	is not the same as acting in ways that are aligned with our values.
0:19.0	In fact, our desire to protect our image as a, quote, good person
0:23.0	can have the opposite effect.
0:26.0	Now that's according to Dolly Chug.
0:28.0	A professor at the NYU Stern School of Business
0:31.0	and author of the book, the person you mean to be,
0:34.0	how good people fight bias.
0:37.0	She's also a dear friend and someone I consider a soul sister,
0:42.0	which is why I'm so excited that she's here with me today
0:46.0	to talk more about this good person thing.
0:49.0	There's a little bit of kind of ego in there
0:52.0	of wanting to protect that identity of being a good person
0:56.0	so that there's something about how I'm seen by others
1:00.0	and how I feel about myself.
1:02.0	So Dolly wants us to stop trying to be good
1:05.0	and to start being good-ish.
1:08.0	Good-ish is a place of growth and learning.
1:12.0	Instead of this binary tightrope, it's this real space of like
1:16.0	expansiveness when I'm good-ish and I'm taking risks.
	...

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