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Amanda, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Hi. What can I help you with? Okay, so I've been talking to this guy. I met him. He was like on an exchange trip and we were talking online for like four or five months. And it was it was good. And then he got home. And we kind of like start off from there. And I guess I probably had high expectations for like what was going to happen.

At first I feel like he was talking or like he was putting a lot of his like time and attention went to his family, which was understandable because like like, he was gone for so long. But then I thought, like, things would switch. And there was just, like,

I'm just confused on whether I should continue being with him or not.

A little too self-focused, my dear, but at 21, I guess we all were.

He's got a life without you.

You guys are not getting married.

You barely know each other.

If you'd like to see him now and then, give him a call and say, I know you're busy with family and things, but, you know, if you're going to be in town, why don't we get together? That's the grown-up point to handle that, is to acknowledge that the other person has a life.

And, dear Amanda, he is never going to turn over the totality of his life to you, nor will any man.

The only creature you can get to do that is a dog, not even a cat.

Seriously.

I've been pretty clear about, like, my standards, like, how I want to be treated.

And there has been, like, a time where I wanted.

He's not living for you.

If he's going to be with his family, don't say this is how I want to be treated. I want more attention. If you want more attention, get a dog. Human beings have lives, especially at this very young age. You are not ever going to be the center of his life in the next three years, even if you continue seeing him, because he's

going to have a career, it's going to have family, he's going to have things just as hopefully

you will. So your expectation, your fantasies about what a relationship with a man is like

are way out of whack. Do you think even though like I will try to end things with him and he will just, like,

be really persistent, like, no, like they're the person that I want.

Like, I'm sorry that I, like, obviously, at first it was like a rough start because, like,

I was trying to get things figured out, but like now I'm willing to give 110%.

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