This is the 10% Happier Podcast.

I'm Dan Harris.

Hello, my fellow suffering beings.

I am repeatedly struck by how often we humans, myself included, find ourselves looking for

happiness in all the wrong places.

We assume consciously or subconsciously that we'll get happiness from boosting our resumes,

burning our bodies, or getting dopamine hits from shopping, social media posts with lots

of likes, or whatever.

Not that any of the foregoing is necessarily bad, but study after study shows that what

really makes us happy is the quality of our relationships with other people.

As the great couples counselor, Esther Perrell once said right here on this show, the quality

of your relationships determines the quality of your life.

And yet, while all of this is so true as to be a trueism, so many of us overlook it.

The good news here is that relationships, or you might say love, or you can even use

words such as authenticity or vulnerability or intimacy, none of which I particularly

like, but they'll do the trick.

Anyway, relationships slash love, these are skills you can hone through meditation and

any number of off-the-cushion practices.

Today, we're going to talk about a Buddhist tool for resolving conflict and keeping your

relationships on the rails.

I'm going to admit up front here that I had a bit of a bad attitude about this whole

process that we're going to unfurl for you here on the show, but that's often a good

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