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We met in Boston.

We both were living just about a mile away from each other, but had never actually come across each other.

And then two weeks after 9-11, we bumped into each other and started talking and made plans to meet up a few days later, ended up talking all night again at a cafe

until they closed and just felt a sort of instant connection to each other.

And about 11 months later we were actually married in Islamabad Pakistan, where my family was based at that time, and came back to Boston, packed up and moved cross country to San Francisco, and we've been here ever since almost 18 years.

I entered at thinking it was one marriage for a lifetime and I think I've come to realize

it's actually many marriages over the course of a lifetime.

We went through sort of our courtship and dating phase and then our honeymoon phase

and being in a city as a young married couple and then we had our son and that completely ends the marriage as you knew

it and begins a new one. Once our son hit around five years old it also was very different He was now much more beginning to be more

independent and going to school and now there was a feeling for me that I don't even

know my husband anymore after child rearing so intensely with our only son for a number of years.

It's very much a dance back and forward of drawing closer to your partner,

drawing away from your partner,

and that drawing away can

invite them back in again, hopefully into a cycle,

...