How To Keep Going When You're Discouraged
Authentic Confidence with Dr. Aziz
Dr. Aziz Gazipura, Psychologist and Author
4.8 • 666 Ratings
🗓️ 4 November 2025
⏱️ 21 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz offers powerful insight into what to do when you feel like giving up. Whether you're trying to build confidence, face your fears, or push through challenges, there are times when progress feels slow and resistance feels overwhelming.
Dr. Aziz unpacks the real reason we feel discouraged and why it’s often not about the actual results we’re getting. You'll discover how unrealistic expectations and unconscious comparisons can drain your motivation and how to shift back into momentum with self-compassion and clarity.
Packed with honesty, humor, and actionable tools, this episode is a reminder that you're not broken, you’re just human. And the key to long-term change isn’t forcing yourself forward, but learning how to keep going with heart.
🎧 Feeling stuck? Tune in now and reignite your courage to keep moving forward—no matter what.
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Ever have one of those days where you just don’t have it in you?
You’ve been working on your confidence, trying to speak up, take risks, connect more—but then something happens. You freeze in the meeting. The conversation flops. Someone says “no.” And suddenly that old voice kicks in:
“See? You’ll never change.”
That voice pulls you down fast. You stop taking action. You retreat. You tell yourself you’re “just busy” or “need a break.” But what’s really happening is something deeper—something every courageous human faces on the path to confidence.
The Doubt Storm
Whenever you stretch beyond your comfort zone, you awaken an old gravitational force I call the doubt storm.
It’s that heavy pull toward discouragement, self-criticism, and hopelessness.
You start circling the drain with thoughts like:
“I’m never going to figure this out.”
“Something’s wrong with me.”
“It always ends this way.”
And once that story takes over, it feels impossible to fight.
But this is where real confidence begins—not in the easy wins, but in your capacity to weather the storm without giving up.
“Confidence isn’t built in your victories. It’s built in the moments you refuse to quit.”
1. Be the Mountain in the Storm
The most powerful thing you can do when discouragement hits isn’t to fix it—it’s to stop running from it.
Imagine yourself as a mountain. The storm comes, winds howl, rain lashes against you—but the mountain doesn’t move. It stays steady.
Set a timer for five minutes. Sit. Breathe.
Notice what’s happening:
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Breath. Feel the air move in and out.
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Thinking. Name the thoughts: “thinking.”
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Feeling. Name the emotion: “sadness,” “fear,” “frustration.”
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Sensation. Notice where it lives in your body.
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Sound. Listen to the room around you.
This practice grounds you. You don’t have to solve the storm—just outlast it. It always passes.
2. Recenter: How Am I Steering?
Once the storm quiets, you’ll see clearly again.
Now ask yourself:
“How am I steering my life right now?”
Most suffering doesn’t come from circumstances—it comes from how we’re relating to them.
You can’t control if someone says yes or no. You can’t control the outcome of a meeting or a date.
But you can control how you show up.
“You can’t steer the storm, but you can steer yourself.”
Choose to play the long game. Choose curiosity over desperation. Choose connection over control.
3. Keep Showing Up
Your only real job is to keep showing up for your growth. Not perfectly. Not fearlessly. Just consistently.
Because every time you face a setback and keep going, you’re reprogramming the story of who you are—from “someone who can’t” to “someone who persists.”
You’ve Got This
Confidence isn’t a straight line. It’s a spiral—up, down, forward, backward. But if you stay in the process long enough, you will win.
You’ll speak freely, connect deeply, and move through life with the calm power of someone who knows their worth.
So when the next storm comes, don’t panic.
Be the mountain.
Breathe.
And remember: this is how confidence is built—one courageous choice at a time.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy, the show to help you break free from social anxiety, |
| 0:05.6 | people pleasing, and self-doubt so you can speak up, connect, and be 100% you. |
| 0:11.8 | I'm Dr. Aziz, sharing tools that have transformed my life and thousands of others. |
| 0:17.4 | Let's all liberate ourselves together. |
| 0:24.5 | Hey. others. Let's all liberate ourselves together. Hey, welcome today's episode of the show. It's good to be with you. Maybe based upon the title, |
| 0:31.1 | you're feeling discouraged in this moment. Maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe this will be something |
| 0:35.3 | that you'll use later but really what I |
| 0:37.8 | want to help you do in this episode is to be able to keep going in the process of |
| 0:41.9 | building confidence overcoming social anxiety and whatever goals are within that |
| 0:45.7 | larger category right you know because as we grow in confidence and become less |
| 0:50.3 | have less social anxiety improve our our self-esteem, our sense of value and worth, you might have |
| 0:57.1 | some very specific things you want to do, whether it's creating relationships for me. |
| 1:00.5 | When I was younger, it was dating was a big one, being in a relationship, be able to pursue |
| 1:05.5 | what you want in your career, speak up for yourself, have boundaries, whatever it is. |
| 1:12.6 | These very specific goals are going to be a part of a larger process if you becoming more boldly yourself, more confident, more |
| 1:17.8 | authentically you. Right. So that's the larger process. And though, like any larger process, |
| 1:26.3 | it's not a one day thing and it's not a straight lineup. |
| 1:29.9 | So in today's episode, I'm going to give you some very practical guidance from my own experience |
| 1:35.5 | and working with clients over the years that really helps you stay in this process. |
| 1:41.7 | And then in terms of what to do in this process, there's other episodes |
| 1:46.0 | of this podcast, which if you're newer to this show, welcome. It's good to be with you. Everything I'm |
| 1:51.3 | sharing here are the tools I've learned over all these years that have helped at this point, |
... |
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