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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

How to Improve Sexual Intimacy: Simple Skills for Sexual Connection | Dr. Nicole McNichols | Love | E507

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7890 Ratings

🗓️ 26 February 2026

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you love your partner but your sexual intimacy is gone… you’re not hopeless. You’re normal. Let’s talk about sex, intimacy, and the real skills that rebuild sexual connection in long-term love. Because emotional intimacy doesn’t automatically create desire,  and you can deepen intimacy on purpose. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why don’t I want sex anymore?” or felt the quiet ache of a lack of intimacy in marriage, you’re not alone. Many couples care deeply about each other. They function well as teammates. And yet when it comes to intimacy in marriage, something feels distant or flat. Maybe you’re in a marriage without intimacy and wondering how to improve sex life without forcing it. Maybe you’re trying to figure out how to increase sexual desire, especially if your drive has faded. Or maybe you’re the partner feeling rejected and unsure how to reconnect. The truth is that improving intimacy in marriage isn’t about waiting for spontaneous chemistry to return. Sexual desire shifts in long-term relationships. Stress, exhaustion, resentment, hormonal changes, and the mental load of adult life all impact connection. When there is no intimacy in marriage, it often reflects burnout and disconnection,  not incompatibility. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Nicole McNichols, an internationally renowned human sexuality professor, author, and speaker whose course The Diversity of Human Sexuality is the most popular in the history of the University of Washington, enrolling over 4,000 students annually. Together, we unpack how to improve sexual intimacy using research-backed tools. We talk about how pleasure fuels desire, how to increase sexual desire in female partners and anyone experiencing low drive, and why improving intimacy in marriage requires intention, not magic. You’ll learn how to improve sex life through small shifts in novelty, playfulness, and communication that make connection feel natural again. We also address resentment. If emotional safety has eroded over time, rebuilding sexual intimacy may need to start with repairing the friendship first. When couples strengthen communication and physical intimacy together, relationships often begin to feel alive again. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Sexual Intimacy Fades in Long-Term Relationships 03:34 How to Improve Sexual Intimacy With a Growth Mindset 08:52 Emotional Intimacy vs. Sexual Desire in Marriage 11:14 How Pleasure Increases Sexual Desire 18:17 How to Increase Sexual Desire (Responsive Desire Explained) 20:20 How to Improve Sex Life by Planning Intimacy 31:08 Rebuilding Attraction and Intimacy in Marriage 43:06 When Lack of Intimacy in Marriage Is About Resentment Rebuilding sexual connection can feel vulnerable. And sometimes the most powerful next step isn’t trying harder,  it’s getting support. If you’d like help improving intimacy in marriage or learning how to increase sexual desire in ways that feel safe and sustainable, you can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure space where you can share what’s been happening and what you hope will feel different. You’ll answer three quick questions so we can match you with the right expert. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it’s a meaningful first step toward feeling closer, more connected, and more confident in your relationship. Let’s find the right support for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Transcript

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0:00.0

Before we get into today's show, let's just talk about something.

0:11.0

You are here because you take growth seriously.

0:15.3

That's what we're doing on the show every single week.

0:18.1

And as I frequently say in this show, understanding and gaining knowledge is one

0:25.4

thing. That's what you'll get today for sure, but that's different than applying it, then

0:32.2

doing something about it, then taking action. And to support you with that part, I've created my clarity

0:39.0

and confidence coaching program designed for people who are ready to close that gap

0:45.5

between knowing what to do and then implementing it in their lives. Through this unique

0:53.1

program, you'll work with a fully licensed, highly experienced

0:57.2

therapist for eight sessions of transformational coaching for ready, only $49 each. I know. It's ridiculous,

1:07.7

but it's part of my mission to take life-changing growth work and make it accessible for everyone.

1:13.9

You're here because you're the kind of person who is already invested in growth.

1:20.3

This will help you take what you know and translate it into outcomes in your life.

1:27.5

Learn more and apply to enroll to this program at growingself.com forward slash grow.

1:34.2

Now on with a show.

1:35.6

Music I think about sex

1:53.2

lust

1:58.2

desire lust desire more pleasurable wanting sex

2:16.0

have you ever thought to yourself Sex.

2:23.3

Have you ever thought to yourself, oh, you know, I love my partner.

2:30.3

So many things about our relationship are working, but when it comes to sex, our relationship in the bedroom, I'm just not feeling it anymore.

2:34.1

And then that cascades into a lot of

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