Your commitment to resolving your pain is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your children.

No matter how well they are, no matter how young they are, it does not matter.

That if you start or continue this work, it is the greatest gift that you can offer them.

And so grace and compassion, accountability and ownership. That to me is the definition of

self-love, the intersection of those. We must hold ourselves accountable and we must see ourselves

as human beings, who are allowed to make mistakes and move through this world and relationships

imperfectly.

So what if you were unknowingly being controlled by unresolved pain from your past, even minor or

momentary experiences? One's that took root and from that moment on, without you having any idea,

started limiting everything from your relationships to your health, work, wealth and life.

We all encounter unresolved pain from our past or what my guest today, New York therapist and

author of the book The Origins of You, Vienna Farron calls original wounds. But most of us don't

realize they even exist, so we just keep repeating the patterns at least to unhappiness,

having no idea what's really stopping us from feeling more connected and alive.

And even if we do recognize them, understanding and dealing and navigating them,

healing them can be difficult and intimidating. And that is exactly where we're heading in today's

conversation with Vienna. Deep into uncovering unresolved pain from the past and how it contributes

to maintaining unwanted patterns in our adult lives. And we also explore why she thinks it's even

necessary, even if you're a big fan of more behavioral approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy,

to go back in time a bit. We look at how to examine our reactivity to certain triggers as indicators

of unresolved pain and identify the source of behaviors and roles adopted in dysfunctional

family systems to make life more tolerable and then go from being more tolerable to truly

...