Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

How long does it normally take for someone when they realize this is unhealthy?

This thing I'm doing, this addiction is not good for me until they actually give it up is there any

data on that I couldn't answer that one I think it's a highly variable and

individual issue it has to do with what resources they have to heal it has to do

with what support they have it has to do with what cost their have. It has to do with what cost their...

This habit is exacting on their lives.

It has to do also with some belief that there's a part of us that's actually healthy

and we can get in touch with it.

There has to be a cool combination of factors.

And it's very, very individual.

It also depends, of course, the degree of trauma person suffered.

And addictions are always about, like, you've heard my definition of addiction.

And I'm sure if I asked you, like if I asked them from talking to a thousand people,

put your hands up if, according to my definition, you've got an addiction, virtually everybody in the room. We'll put their hands up. Maybe there'll be two liars who... Right, right. But 998, and then I asked them, not what was wrong with the addiction, but what was right about it? What did you get from it? So if I asked you that, so you've had your behaviors, if I asked you, I don't care what it was two, but if I asked you, what did you get from it? So if I asked you that, so you had your behaviors, if I asked you,

I don't care what it was too, but if I asked you, what did you get from it? What would that be? You get some type of relief, you get some type of pleasure, you get some type of, yeah. Specifically. What do you get from it? What do you get from it? What did you get from it? What did they give you temporarily, whatever it was? I don't even care what it was. You know, you get to escape.

Okay, escape, right.

Yeah, you're not thinking about the pain or the shame or the insecurity. So who needs to escape? Me. No, but I mean, what kind of person needs to escape? Oh, a scared person. A scared person, somebody was in imprisoned, isn't it? Somebody's not free.

It's trapped. Yeah, somebody's trapped, exactly. And I know in your book on toxic masculinity, you talk about being trapped. And trapped is the very word you use. Yes. And... I felt trapped most of my childhood. That's the whole point. So what I'm saying is that addiction is never a choice. and it's not some kind of genetic disease which that is told nonsense. What it actually is is an attempt to solve a problem in your life.

In your case, you were trying to solve the problem of being trapped, which is based on your childhood trauma,

which you very publicly talk about.

In my case, the workaholism was about trying to prove to myself that I was, that I had the right to exist.

...