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How To!

How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life (Encore)

How To!

Slate Magazine

Business, Education, How To, Self-improvement

4.41.9K Ratings

🗓️ 11 February 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she’s lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn’t interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she’s worried it’s hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come as You Are, to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be intimate. “Think of like when you were dating…that was date sex,” Emily reminds us. She then breaks down the myths that so many of us have internalized about sex, and shares surprising tips to help anyone—no matter their age or relationship status—have better sex. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Save Your Marriage.” Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rachael Allen, and Rosemary Belson. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

As a small business owner, my favourite thing about posting a job on LinkedIn is that when I hit send, I clock out and LinkedIn clocks in.

0:07.0

LinkedIn makes it easy to post your job for free. Get qualified candidates and manage them all in one place.

0:12.9

Plus, LinkedIn extends the reach of your job posts by allowing you to share it with your network.

0:17.7

And hiring managers that add a hiring frame to their LinkedIn profiles

0:21.5

receive two times more qualified applicants. Go to LinkedIn.com slash agree to post your job

0:27.4

for free. Terms and conditions apply. Hey, how-to listeners. Well, it's that time of year again when

0:33.6

romance is in the air, Cupid starts slinging his arrows and love conquers all.

0:38.9

But of course, intimate relationships, even on Valentine's Day, are a lot more complicated than that.

0:45.1

So this week, we're featuring what, for obvious reasons, is one of our most popular episodes from back in the day.

0:52.0

It's called How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life. And while the title does kind of say it all, the advice might surprise you. So I'm going to pass the mic to our former host, David Epstein, and we'll see you back here next week. I talked to a woman in Europe who she and her husband and her small children every year

1:14.4

would rent the same vacation home and they had great vacation sex.

1:19.3

One year they couldn't get that house and so they rented a different house and it was not

1:24.1

the same.

1:25.0

She and her husband were like, what is the difference?

1:34.0

It turns out that house was so old, the bed was built into the wall, which means it was silent.

1:43.2

There was no rocking and noise and therefore no chatter in her head about the kids waking up and wondering what's up and coming and walking in.

1:48.9

Welcome to how to. I'm science writer David Epstein.

1:53.4

The beauty of an advice podcast is that we're here to give you the kind of counsel that your friends and family can't always provide. Or maybe you just don't want to ask.

1:58.1

And so this week we're going to talk about what happens in the bedroom,

2:06.3

or more accurately, what's not happening in the bedroom, and how to fix it. Meet Mimi from Miami. I have a wonderful, loving husband, and when we first met, we had a very healthy,

2:14.0

normal, sexual relationship, and then I started on some new medication that completely

2:21.8

removed my sex drive. It doesn't even cross my mind anymore. And it's just, you know,

...

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