How to Have a Massage

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Education, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.8 • 933 Ratings

🗓️ 19 March 2024

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Stevie got a massage and loved it. Tessa gets them all the time for her stressed body. Together they offer advice if you’re thinking about going for the first time and, quite frankly, get far too worried about how to tell if your masseuse is going to give you a “happy ending” or not.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	To the left.
0:13.0	Oh, great music you've got in this bar.
0:17.0	It's to help you feel calm.
0:22.0	Oh, oh, yeah, it does.
0:27.0	Dingle, dingle, jingle, jingle,
0:29.0	those are wind chimes.
0:31.0	It's squish.
0:32.0	That's the sea.
0:34.0	That's a gong bath.
0:36.0	Happening in the room next door and this calm spot.
0:38.0	I did that once.
0:39.0	A gong bath.
0:40.0	Yeah.
0:41.0	What did you, I have to, what did you think?
0:42.7	I couldn't, I had to work really hard to not laugh.
0:46.0	Because it was lovely, so, but welcome to Nobdy Panic,
0:50.1	it's a podcast of how to do things.
0:52.0	I'm Stevie.
0:52.6	Tess is right there asking me about gong baths.
0:54.7	Hello.
0:55.6	Lay down, close my eyes and just because you can't see where she is,
1:01.6	she plays a like a dong.
	...

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