How to Have a Bath

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Education, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.8 • 933 Ratings

🗓️ 7 February 2023

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Can you ever have a dry bath? What is a “bath of the mind”? Why is it that Stevie hates them so much and can she overcome it? Tessa (bath aficionado and creator of the Half Bath) talks Stevie through bath etiquette and, as ever, discovers her aversion isn’t about the bath. It’s about her soul. Warning this gets quite deep (like a bath).

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	So much quieter than I thought it would be.
0:15.0	It's more intimate than I was hoping for.
0:20.0	Like a bath.
0:22.0	Welcome everyone. I was hoping it would make that would I don't know why I thought that would make the noise of the taps. No sure that yeah because it's not that's insane. Yeah in retrospect. She's pouring for people who aren't on the patreon watching this as a video, she was pouring water out of her glass receptacle into a smaller glass receptacle.
0:36.5	And I thought it would sound like a bath.
0:38.0	And I didn't, and I didn't.
0:40.0	Listen, we're all learning.
0:41.0	Every day to school day, happy to have you please come on in.
0:43.5	Pop in the bath with me if you like.
0:45.3	This episode is how to have a bath.
0:48.0	Tip one, get in the bath with other people.
0:50.5	I have tried that before.
0:51.5	I thought it would be much more romantic and nobody liked it. Yeah, I've tried that before. I thought it would be much more romantic and nobody liked it.
0:53.7	Yeah I have to think I've tried that once and we have a part of just too big.
0:56.5	Yeah that's the thing you think it sounds on... I'm not a cute little five foot two gal.
1:00.3	No. So it's like he's in, he's six foot two, I'm coming into.
1:04.5	Yeah, hello!
1:05.5	It's much more admin.
1:07.5	It's awful.
1:08.5	And body, body slopping.
1:10.1	Yeah, and then there's like a tap in your back.
1:11.6	Yeah, tap in the back. Yeah, a tap in the back.
	...

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