How to Give Feedback Without Ruining Everything | Kim Scott
10% Happier with Dan Harris
10% Media, LLC
4.6 • 12.9K Ratings
🗓️ 3 November 2021
⏱️ 70 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
One of the hardest things to do in any relationship is give feedback. It's always dicey. You don't want to be too aggressive. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But you also don't want to be too indirect.
That's where radical candor comes in. This term comes from Kim Scott, who is the bestselling author of Radical Candor and Just Work. She has coached executives at Dropbox and Twitter, and has led teams at Google. In this conversation she'll not only talk about how to speak with radical candor, but also how to avoid its evil cousins: ruinous empathy, manipulative insincerity, and obnoxious aggression. She'll also talk about how to push for more equitable workplaces at all levels of an organization, how to speak up about diversity issues without ruining your career, and what to do if you're the person who has created harm. Kim will also talk about the difficult wake-up call that led her from her first book to her second.
This episode is part of the Work Life series we are running here on the show. In conjunction with this series on the podcast, we're launching a Work Life challenge over on the Ten Percent Happier app. We'll be dealing with issues such as feedback, imposter syndrome, jerks at work, burnout, productivity shame, and more. You can download the app here, or wherever you get your apps to join the challenge for free.
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kim-scott-393
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is the 10% half year podcast. |
| 0:05.9 | I'm Dan Harris. |
| 0:07.9 | Hey, hey, everybody. |
| 0:12.2 | As I'm sure you know, one of the hardest things to do in any relationship is to give feedback. |
| 0:18.8 | Whether you're a boss, talking to an employee or an employee, talking to a boss, it's also |
| 0:22.8 | of course true as a spouse, a parent, a friend, it's always dicey. |
| 0:26.8 | You don't want to be too aggressive. |
| 0:28.4 | You don't want to hurt somebody's feelings, but you also don't want to be indirect. |
| 0:31.9 | You don't want them to miss the point and keep making the same mistake. |
| 0:35.8 | This by the way is a mistake. |
| 0:37.0 | I have made a bunch. |
| 0:38.2 | I sometimes hold back because I don't have the guts to tell the truth or I'm afraid of |
| 0:42.6 | hurting somebody's feelings. |
| 0:44.2 | And then eventually I lose it and piss everybody off. |
| 0:47.6 | That is where radical candor comes in. |
| 0:49.9 | That term comes from my guest today, Kim Scott, who is the author of a book called Radical |
| 0:54.9 | candor, and also a follow on book called Just Work, which is in part about how to speak |
| 1:00.6 | clearly and effectively about the issues related to the supremely sensitive issue of diversity. |
| 1:07.7 | Kim joins us today as part of our ongoing work life series. |
| 1:10.6 | We're running on the show. |
| 1:12.5 | In fact, this is the second of five consecutive brand new episodes. |
| 1:15.7 | We'll be dropping on how to do your work life better. |
... |
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