How to give and receive good advice (w/ Hola Papi’s John Paul Brammer)

How to Be a Better Human

TED and PRX

Self-improvement, Education

4.2 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2024

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Have you ever wished someone would just help you figure out your life? John Paul Brammer’s job is to do exactly that – he’s the writer behind the hit advice column Hola Papi. John has helped all kinds of people on topics as niche as figuring out what to do when your boyfriend pretends to be Latino to as common as answering the age-old question of how to make friends as an adult. John reveals what constitutes good advice, why a lot of problems have similar solutions, and shares what we can do to get ourselves out of our trickiest situations.

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0:00.0	Ted Audio Collective.
0:02.0	Audio Collective.
0:04.0	You're listening to how to be a
0:08.0	you're listening to how to be a better human.
0:12.0	I'm your host Chris Duffy.
0:15.0	Someone once told me that any time someone gives you advice,
0:18.0	they're really just saying the things that they themselves need to hear.
0:21.0	And I know that that is definitely true when I give advice.
0:24.8	30 seconds in, I hear myself saying things like,
0:27.3	you're gonna give a great podcast introduction.
0:29.2	Just believe in yourself and don't overthink it.
0:31.4	You have the skills. And then the other person who I'm talking to is like
0:34.8	I actually was asking for advice about how to bake bread so my point being it's hard to give good
0:41.2	advice it's hard to not make it about you.
0:43.0	I am of the opinion that most times the best thing you can do to help another person is just listen to them.
0:48.0	But every once in a while, a solid piece of advice can lead to a breakthrough. It can make us feel less alone and it can be really fun to witness.
0:56.4	Today's guest, John Paul Brahma, is an expert on giving advice that is actually helpful,
1:01.2	actually useful, and so much fun to listen to. So much fun that strangers
1:05.4	myself included have been hanging on his every word for years. John Paul is the
1:09.4	author of Ola Papi, How to Come Out in a Walmart parking lot and other life lessons and as a long time
1:14.9	advice columnist he is here to teach us his craft. Here's a clip. I mean I give the
1:19.7	normal advice that you know a good buddy would give when someone's feeling down or like
	...

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